


Amends

by Eve1978



Category: Sebastian Stan - Fandom, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Jealousy, Oral Sex, Rivalry, Torn Between Two Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-23 19:09:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8339317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eve1978/pseuds/Eve1978
Summary: Sebastian lives right down the hall from you and one night you end up having amazing sex with him. The morning after however your ex, Tom, is back in town...





	1. Chapter 1

‘Take it off.’

His voice was a low growl in your ear, his fingers dancing on the skin of your thighs, pushing up your dress. Your jacket ended up on the floor while his lips and tongue were on your neck, turning you on a little bit more with every kiss.

‘Please, invite me in,’ he begged and he let his tongue run from your neck up to your earlobe where he bit softly,’ if you don’t invite me in I’m fucking you right here in the hallway for everyone to see.’

The vibration of his deep voice against your ear was making you shiver and the bulge in his pants was growing harder by the minute. He pushed you up against the door of your apartment and kissed your lips, slowly and deeply, tasting you until you moaned into his kiss and pulled him closer to you.

‘Seb,’ you breathed in between kissing him.

‘I want you,’ he brought his lips to your ear again, aware of your weak spot now after a whole night of flirting with you,’ I want you so bad.’  

When he rolled his hips against your centre your legs spread for him automatically, allowing him to push his erection in between. The satisfied chuckle he let out made you even more wet than you already were.

You hurried to pull your keys from your handbag to unlock your door, his hands were on you the entire time, making it hard to concentrate.

When you stepped inside his lips were on you instantly, pushing you back up against the door, only this time on the inside of your apartment. He took your hands and laced his fingers with yours while he lifted them above your head. His mouth was latching onto your neck and his hips grinding up against you until your moans were the only thing filling the room.

‘Fuck me,’ you begged,’ please.’

He grinned at your impatience and let his fingers run from your hands over your arms and all the way down to your waist where he pushed up your dress again. He kneeled in front of you and pulled your panties down to your ankles. When you looked at him you were greeted with the most mischievous sexy stare.

God, he was gorgeous. 

You’d seen him around the building before but you never really spoke until tonight and now you wondered why it took you so long. His eyes were intense and dreamy, but his lips were your real kryptonite and he was using them to his advantage. He licked them slowly while he locked eyes with you and then he leaned forward and started kissing your inner thighs.

You hissed when his tongue lapped at your centre, agonizingly slow at first but he quickly found the right spot and made you squirm against his mouth. Your hands grabbed the first thing you could find, one in his hair and the other one on the handle of the door.

He lifted your one leg onto his shoulder to keep you steady while his tongue delved deeper into you, stopping every now and then to pay attention to your clit.   His mouth knew exactly where to go and how to get you there and he was getting you there fast.

‘Oh god, right there, yes, yes fuck!’ you bit your lip to keep from screaming out your orgasm.

He kept kissing until you came down from your high and then stood up, immediately searching for your mouth. You kissed him back eagerly, loving the taste of your own arousal on his tongue.

He was breathing heavily and fumbling with the zipper of his pants, you knew he couldn’t hold out much longer. He moaned while he stroked himself a few times and then placed the tip of his cock at your entrance, teasing you until you both couldn’t wait any longer.

You had to catch your breath when he pushed all the way in. He lifted your hips to find the perfect angle, encouraged by your moans, keeping his rhythm teasingly slow. He leaned his face against yours, breathing heavily into your mouth, which only turned you on more. 

At this pace he would have you begging for it. You dug your nails into his shoulders and he grunted.

‘Harder,’ you moaned,’ please, harder.’

The grin on his face made you shiver. He was picking up the pace quickly, slamming you against the door and fucking you deeper with every thrust, moaning and grunting loudly every time he sank into you.  
You knew you were close and on the verge of another orgasm when he brought his fingers down to your clit and helped you get there.

It was overwhelming, your head fell back against the door with your eyes closed while he kept fucking you into his own orgasm. You body was going numb but he was strong enough to hold you up until one last deep thrust made him lose control too.

‘Oh…fuck, fuck, ahhh,’ he shuddered and his body collapsed against yours, still doing his best to keep you both standing.

When you finally opened your eyes again you found him looking right at you and you got lost in his soft blue eyes for a moment. He leaned in to put a kiss on your lips while he pushed your dress back down.

‘Well,’ he spoke softly and bit his lip,’ that was…’

‘Unexpected,’ you finished his sentence.

‘For you maybe.’

You lifted your eye brow in surprise.

‘I’ve had my eye on you for quite some time,’ he confessed.  
There was a little hesitation before he kissed you again but when you opened your mouth he quickly slipped his tongue in and kissed you deeper.

‘So what happens now?’ you asked after you came up for air,’ should I kick you out now? That’s what you’re supposed to do with a one night stand, no?’

‘I don’t know, I’m pretty new to this,’ he answered and gave you a playful confused look that made you laugh.

‘I guess…I could stay,’ he then said,’ if you want.’

‘I don’t know,’ you hesitated, the idea of spending the entire night with him suddenly making you nervous,’ I think maybe you should go.’

‘Yeah, probably,’ he admitted and he zipped up his pants and stepped back from you.

‘I’m sorry! God it feels so cruel to just kick you out after…that.’

He smiled and took one step closer to you again, leaning his face against yours,’ Don’t worry about it. You know where to find me if you want to do this again.’

You bit your lip while you stared at him and nodded your head and he brought his lips back to your ear,’ I mean it, anytime, any place. Wherever and whatever you want.’

His deep whisper combined with the sexy look he gave you almost made you change your mind and invite him into your bed right now but he walked away before you could speak and left you alone in your apartment, craving more of him.

***

The next morning left you feeling a little hazy, thoughts of him filled your mind as soon as you woke up and remembered what happened the night before.

Sebastian. Beautiful sexy Sebastian from down the hall. 

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips as you were getting ready for work. You had no idea what exactly happened between the two of you the night before, only that ever since he noticed you at the party he hadn’t left your side.   
He had flirted shamelessly, making it no secret how he wanted the night to end. And to your own surprise you knew pretty quickly that you were going to give him exactly what he wanted.

It had been 4 months. 4 months, 1 week and 3 days to be exact, on your own. You knew it was time to move on, time to stop wallowing and enjoy yourself again. It was like the heavens above agreed with you and sent you Sebastian for that sole purpose.

You hadn’t thought it possible, that you would fall for someone else, actually be attracted to someone else, ever again. Not after…him. 

But Sebastian managed to make you forget. The thought of his hands and his lips on your skin brought the smile back to your face while you put on your coat and took your bag to leave for work.

You closed your door and locked it and walked over to the elevator when the doors opened. The sight took your breath away and put a lump in your throat. 

‘Hello, darling.’

For a few seconds you couldn’t believe this was happening, that he was actually here, standing right in front of you. 

His hair was a tad darker than the blond you remembered, his blue shirt still exactly the same, and as wrinkled as always. The look on his face so serious and sad at the same time it hurt your heart.

‘Tom,’ you whispered, making yourself shiver just by saying his name, something you hadn’t done in months,’ what…are you doing here?’

He stepped out of the elevator and you noticed the two suitcases behind him.

‘I’m back,’ he gave you a little apologetic smile,’ for good.’

You tried to form words but failed to speak any.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t call,’ he said,’ I should have warned you but…I wasn’t quite sure what to say to you.’

You had forgotten how elegant his accent sounded, or how silky smooth his voice was and what it did to you.

He moved away from the elevator and you took the opportunity to step inside to get away from him.

‘I need to be at work in fifteen minutes,’ you clicked the button but as the doors closed he put his arm in between and the elevator stopped.

He stepped in between the doors so he could look into your eyes while he spoke,’ I know this is a shock, and I should have called, I’m sorry.’

You still just looked at him without speaking a word.

‘I made a mistake,’ he continued,’ the biggest, and if I could take it all back I would, in a heartbeat. I should have never left.’

‘But you did,’ you put your hand on his chest and gently pushed him back, out of the elevator while you pushed the button again,’ you should have stayed gone.’  
The last thing you heard was him saying your name while the doors closed again and he was out of your sight.

***

After a long day at work, a day filled with thoughts of both Tom and Sebastian, you arrived back at the apartment building. You were picking up your mail when Sebastian came in right after you.

He stood next to you and took his time to open his mailbox and slowly inspected every letter. You knew he was being deliberately slow and you couldn’t help but smile.

‘Hello, stranger,’ you nudged his elbow.

‘Oh, hi, I didn’t see you there,’ he feigned surprise.

You laughed,’ You are such a bad liar.’

He shook his head and gave you a charming smile,’ Okay, yeah I did see you, of course I saw you, that was lame, I’m sorry.’  
You could have sworn he was blushing now.

‘I wasn’t sure what to say to you,’ he confessed.

‘You had no problem talking to me last night.’

‘The wonders of alcohol,’ he winked.

‘Okay, how about hi, how was your day?’

He leaned against the mailbox and looked at you, lifting his eye brow in a weird grin,’ Hi, how was your day?’  
You laughed and closed your mailbox,’ You are a dork.’

He leaned closer and lowered his voice, suddenly regaining that confidence from last night,’ A dork who made you cum, twice.’

You almost dropped your mail to the floor, not only because of his words but because you noticed someone coming down the stairs. It was Tom and he noticed you and Sebastian right away.

‘Good evening,’ Tom smiled but it was undeniably the most fake smile you’d seen on him and he let his eyes run from you to Sebastian and back to you,’ Won’t you introduce me to your friend?’

‘Tom, this is Sebastian. Sebastian, this is Tom, Tom’s an old…friend who just arrived back in town.’

‘Nice to meet you, man,’ Sebastian reached out his hand and Tom shook it, giving him a more polite smile this time.

‘I haven’t seen you around the building yet,’ Tom remarked.

‘Sebastian’s new,’ you answered his question.

‘I moved in 3 months ago,’ Sebastian said,’ I haven’t seen you around either.’

You noticed the men were just staring at each other now, none of them paying any attention to you and suddenly you could cut the tension with a knife.

‘i’ve been away,’ Tom answered,’ but I’m back now.’

You’re not exactly sure why you spoke the next words but they suddenly flowed from your lips,’ Sebastian’s been taking care of me while you were gone.’

You could see a little surprise on Seb’s face and a lot of shock on Tom’s.

‘Has he now?’ Tom spoke with pursed lips, suppressing his obvious annoyance.

‘Oh yeah, it’s been my absolute pleasure,’ Sebastian quickly added, making you hold back a little laugh. Of course he would play along, you should have guessed.

‘Well,’ Tom took a step forward, straightened his shoulders and put himself in between you and Sebastian,’ as I said, I’m back now.’

‘Noted,’ Seb answered quickly and without blinking while he stared right back at Tom.

You took a step forward to break all this testosterone in the hallway and put your hand on Sebastian’s shoulder.

‘Alright, I’m going up, I’ve had a long day and I need a bath,’ you spoke softly and started walking away from them,’ good night, guys.’

‘See you later?’ Sebastian asked.

You already had your back to them and you couldn’t help but smile this time. He really was shameless.

‘Maybe,’ you smiled as you walked up the stairs to your apartment, not looking back to see how the interaction between both men ended.

***

There was a knock on the door later that night and you rushed to open it, expecting Sebastian but you were met with another pair of blue eyes.

Tom stood before you, his arms crossed in front of him over his tight white t-shirt, his hair was messy and the look in his face so intense it could make you weak on your feet if you stared too long. He looked good, too good.

‘I know what you’re doing,’ he said.

‘What am I doing?’ you leaned against the frame of the door and crossed your arms to match him.

‘Trying to make me jealous with him.’

‘You’ve been away for 4 months, Tom, it may shock you but I’ve moved on, not everything is about you, god,’ you sighed in frustration but quickly calmed yourself down.   
You didn’t want him to see he had any effect on you or your emotions.

‘It’s not going to work,’ he said, ignoring everything you just said.

‘I wasn’t doing anything,’ you protested,’ but whatever I’m not doing it seems to be working fine.’

You gave him a daunting look, expecting him to back down but instead there was a little smile forming on his lips and he leaned closer.

‘You’re still my girl,’ he had lowered his voice, making you shiver,’ and if you think for one second that I’m just going to hand you over to him without a fight, you are greatly mistaken.’

It was the sexiest threat you had ever heard and you swallowed hard. The intensity of his stare and that voice making it impossible for you to think of a smart come back and Tom smiled satisfied when he noticed your struggle.

He walked away without looking back at you, casually strolling to his apartment, the one right next to Sebastian’s.  
You quickly shut your door and leaned against the inside of the door with a heavy sigh.

Shit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter: You run into Tom in the coffee shop and Sebastian in the gym and both men clearly want your attention but who do you really want to give it to?
> 
> There is quite a bit of teasing in this one, fluff and feels too. Explicit language and explicit smut near the end.

After your encounter with Tom the previous night you had barely managed to sleep at all. When it seemed there was no point in lying awake any longer, with your thoughts eating at you, you decided to get out of bed. 

You had rushed to put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed your bag with workout clothes and your laptop and went on your way. All you could think about was getting some air and most importantly being away from your apartment for a while.   
It was Saturday and you had absolutely no plans for the entire day except for one: trying to avoid Tom.

It was around 7.30 now and more and more customers started coming into the little coffee shop you had chosen to hide out in. This place was new and several streets away from the apartment block. 

You were completely focused on reading some emails from your work on your laptop until you felt someone standing right next to you, holding a cup and a muffin and clearing his throat until you looked up.

Shit. 

Tom was looking at you with a friendly smile on his face. Plan one, failed.

Motherfucker. You knew you should have gone to Starbucks a couple of blocks further.

‘Is this seat taken?’ he asked.

‘If I say yes will you go away?’ you answered while looking back down at your computer and trying to ignore him but he was already sitting down on the couch next to you, placing his coffee and muffin on the table.

‘I know you hate me, and you have every right to, but will you please just talk to me?’  
‘If I say no will you go away?’ you closed your laptop and gave him an angry look but he just shook his head in a little smile.

‘You can’t keep ignoring me.’

‘Yes I can, you did it to me for 4 months,’ your voice was so cold it even surprised yourself.

The smile faded from his face and he nodded his head in defeat. You put your laptop in your bag, took one last sip from your coffee and tried to stand up but he grabbed you by your elbow.

‘Please,’ his voice was soft and pleading,’ stay with me, five minutes is all I ask, for old times sake, please?’

You looked into his eyes, those soft blue watery puppy eyes, those fuckers always made you weak, not to mention he was doing that adorable thing with his eye brows again.

You fell back down on the couch with a sigh,’ Fine, 5 minutes.’

He rubbed your arm softly before he let go and smiled relieved.

‘You look good,’ he then spoke softly,’ really good.’

‘I barely slept 3 hours, I have no make up on and my hair is a complete mess, please don’t lie,’ you shook your head,’ or does that come second nature to you now?’

You couldn’t help it, hate was all you seemed to have for him. You could see the hurt your words caused him but he quickly recovered,’ It’s not a lie, you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.’

His words sounded so charming, so enticing, so…almost genuine. You let out an annoyed sigh and you flinched when he put his hand over yours. Your eyes met and once again you were taken aback by how beautiful he was from up close.   
‘If I have to apologize to you every single day for the rest of my life because of these past months then I will,’ he said.

‘I don’t need an apology. An apology doesn’t fix anything.’

‘Tell me what you need then and I’ll give it to you. Please, tell me what I can do.’

You stood up but he followed your lead and stood up too, putting himself right in front of you, looking down at you with those gorgeous blue apologetic eyes.  
‘You can step aside and let me pass,’ you then said.

He nodded his head and sat back down so you could move.

‘I’m not giving up on you,’ he spoke softly when you passed and you froze when you felt his hand on your waist. You looked down to meet his eyes again and regretted it instantly.  
His face was right there against your stomach and his hand sank a little lower, softly caressing your thigh while he licked his lips and kept his eyes firmly on yours. 

You didn’t know why you weren’t moving, the door was right there, it would only take you a few steps to leave.  
But you didn’t.

Instead your hand reached for him and you softly caressed his hair, making him let out a relieved sigh at your touch. He leaned his face against your stomach and whispered your name. Your heart could barely take it.

‘Stay a little longer, please,’ he asked softly but it was as if his voice pulled you from under his spell. You took your hand from him and stepped back.

‘I need to go,’ you rushed away from him and out of the coffee shop.

***

You pushed through the door of the gym, it was still early and there weren’t too many people around, which was exactly what you were hoping for. You could see one lady working out on the rowing machine and two guys running on the treadmill, the rest of the room looked empty.

You made your way over to the mats at the end of the room, put your bag aside and sat down in front of the mirrors, starting a few stretching exercises. You’d been sitting for several minutes when you noticed there was someone lifting weights on the bench behind you and grunting loudly while doing so.

You noticed his body before you noticed his face, he was wearing black shorts and a sleeveless grey shirt that showed off his broad shoulders and big arms. It was only when your eyes reached his face that you recognized him.

Sebastian.

You should have guessed, those grunts did sound oddly familiar.

He hadn’t seen you yet and you stayed in your spot and watched him from a distance for a little while. Until your eyes met his in the mirror.

He continued his workout for a little while before putting down his weights and walking over to you,’ Are you stalking me?’

‘Is it that obvious?,’ you looked up to see him smiling at you and he sat down on the mat in front of you.

‘Hi,’ he gave you a sweet adorable smile.  
‘Hey, stranger,’ you smiled back, feeling your nerves settle a little for the first time that morning. He seemed to have a calming effect on you.

‘I’ve never seen you here on a Saturday,’ he remarked.

‘I don’t usually come in during the weekends, I had some frustration to work through.’  
‘Anything I can help you with?’ he asked with a smile,’ Do you need help stretching?’

‘Sure.’  
‘Alright,’ he moved closer to you,’ spread your legs.’

‘Right here? Just like that?’ you teased him,’ How about some foreplay? You gotta warm a girl up a little first, Sebby.’   
You playfully hit him on the shoulder and watched him avert his eyes shyly. 

You loved the way your words made him blush so easily, but when he looked at you again his gaze was fixed and intense, almost making you blush.  
‘Spread your fucking legs,’ he asked again with a mischievous smile.

You did as he told you and he put his feet against your ankles, bending his legs so he could gently push and stretch you a little further with every push. 

‘Take off your sweater,’ he then asked.

‘Yes, sir,’ you bit your lip and then took off your sweater, slowly to tease him a little more.  
‘Put it on your lower back and give me the sleeves,’ he tried to stay focussed but you noticed the curve of his lips.

You handed him the sleeves and he rolled them into his hands until he had a firm hold. Then he pulled, moving your body closer to his inch by inch, while he gently put pressure on your legs with his feet.  

You had done this exercise before but somehow doing it with Seb gave it a whole different vibe. His eyes were so fixated on yours and you were completely under his control, his body pulling yours a little closer to his inch by inch. 

‘This feels okay?’ he then asked.

‘Uh-uh,’ you grunted.

‘Tell me when I push too hard, okay?’

‘I like it when you push hard,’ you teased.

‘Oh yeah?’ he gave an extra push against your legs making your muscles hurt until you let out a little scream of pain,’ Do you want me to stop?’

‘No,’ you put your hands on the mat in front of you and leaned forward a little, showing him you could still bend further,’ Keep going.’

‘You are incredibly, deliciously, bendy,’ he noticed, making you blush.

‘Years of ballet lessons are still paying off,’ you smiled.

His eyes were now piercing into yours, you could see the sweat on his arms and neck, and his curly hair was sticking to his forehead. The muscles in his arms were tense while he held onto your sweater and he pulled a little harder.  
You closed your eyes and bit your lip, trying to only focus on your muscles and the way Seb was making them work.

‘So this frustration you have, wouldn’t have anything to do with Tom, would it?’ he asked after a while.  
You opened your eyes.

‘He’s not just an old friend, is he?’ Seb asked.

‘He’s my ex,’ you confessed.

‘I figured as much.’

‘Why are we talking about him?’

‘Sorry, you’re right, none of my business,’ he bit his lip nervously, aware that he had killed the mood and thinking of a way to change it back.  
‘He looks pretty boring anyway,’ he then said.

You couldn’t help but smile and you shook your head.  
‘I was with him for 3 years, Seb, there’s a lot of history there.’

He released his grip on your sweater.

’Tom was the one, you know,’ you continued, it felt weird talking about Tom with Sebastian but now that you started you couldn’t seem to stop,’ Tom was end game for me, the one I thought I’d grow old with. There was never a doubt in my mind. But as it turns out he was just another level I had to get through.’

He smiled.

You let out a deep sigh, relieved that you were able to be honest with him about Tom but also a little annoyed with yourself that you had felt the need to talk about him in the first place.

‘I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear this,’ you smiled.

‘It’s okay, I don’t mind.’

‘Well, I do,’ you looked into his eyes,’ Please flirt with me some more.’

Sebastian put his legs over yours and used your sweater to pull you all the way up to him and then closed his legs, trapping you between them.

‘So talking about games,’ he had lowered his voice,’ If he was your end game, what am I then? A side quest?’

You laughed and shook your head.

‘I don’t know what you are yet,’ you grabbed his t-shirt and let your fingers run over his stomach and chest, feeling the strong muscle underneath,’ All I know is I don’t want to stop playing with you.’

Without saying another word he kissed your lips, softly and slowly and it was enough to make you melt. His hands were on your waist pulling you closer and he leaned in to kiss you again but you stopped him.

‘They’ll kick us out,’ you objected.

‘I don’t really care,’ he smiled while he caressed your back and nuzzled your neck, his warm breath on your skin made it hard for you to keep protesting. When he moved closer his groin was right between your legs and you could feel the bulge pushing up against your centre, he was rock hard.

‘Seb,’ you put your hands on his chest to hold him back.

‘I can’t help it, you turn me on so fucking much,’ he breathed heavily against your ear, soaking your panties and making you blush.

You were both stopped when a group of people stepped out of the dressing rooms and headed for the machines right next to you. 

‘Damned,’ Seb swore and pulled back from you. You crawled away from him on the mat, creating some distance between the two of you, before putting on your sweater and standing up.

‘I’ll see you later, stranger,’ you smiled.

He sighed while he watched you leave,’ God, I fucking hope so.’

***  
You managed to get back to your apartment without running into Tom and you spent the rest of the day hiding in there. The lack of sleep from the night before finally caught up with you and after a long nap on the couch and a shower, a cold one, you started feeling a little better.

It was near 9 o’clock when there was a knock on your door. You contemplated just ignoring it for a minute but the thought of Seb standing in front of your door made you change your mind.

But of course it wasn’t Seb…

‘Hello, Tom,’ you sighed,’ What do you want?’

He was wearing a green henley that looked way too good on him and he was holding two bags of food in his hand.

‘I was just passing by Jin’s Palace earlier and I thought…you loved eating these on the couch on a Saturday night, I was hoping…maybe…you might be hungry.’  
The insecure look on his face and the way he was stumbling over his words was so endearing, your heart was torn.

‘It used to be your favorite,’ he added.

‘Maybe I have a new favorite now, things change, Tom. Maybe I moved onto Italian and Chinese doesn’t really do it for me anymore.’

‘So I can’t seduce you at all?’ he lifted the bags and opened them, the smell immediately made you crumble.

He was right, it had been your favorite, and it had been yours and Tom’s favorite place for a long time, which was exactly why you hadn’t been there since he had been gone. It brought back too many memories.  
But the food in front of you smelled so delicious it made you question how you had gone so long without it. 

‘Can I just grab the bags and send you on your way?’ you joked but he just grinned.

‘Package deal, darling.’

‘Alright,’ you caved and opened the door to let him step inside,’ Come in, we eat and then you leave.’

You grabbed glasses and a bottle of wine while Tom opened the food and installed himself on your couch. For a few seconds as you watched him from the kitchen it felt like old times. He had sat on that couch in that exact spot every night for years.   
The two of you had eaten, slept, made out and fucked on that couch too many times to mention. You shrugged your shoulders and opened the bottle, trying to block that last image from your mind.

You walked over to him and handed him his glass and you both started eating in silence. The familiar taste of the food and Tom sitting next to you made it feel as if you had stepped back in time. A time when everything was less messed up and your future together had looked nothing but bright. 

If anyone would have told you…you would have just laughed in their face. This happened to other couples, never you and Tom. Never.

‘I’ve missed this,’ Tom said after a while.

‘Me too,’ you said before you took another large bite of your chicken curry.  
He smiled at you.

‘I was talking about the food,’ you added.

‘So was I, what did you think I meant?’

You couldn’t help but smile and when you looked at him you were greeted by that mischievous twinkle in his eyes you remembered so well.

‘Jin told me to say hi to you, by the way,’ he continued,’ she was so over the moon to see me she gave me half of this stuff for free and insisted I take some extra dim sum for you.’

‘She remembered,’ you smiled.

‘Of course she did, you’re hard to forget.’

Tom kept talking but you had zoned out, all you could hear was the soothing sound of his voice and how it filled your apartment and for a moment there you would have given anything for these past months to have never happened.

‘I miss you,’ the words left your mouth so suddenly it shocked the both of you.

Tom put down his food and just stared at you, a little confusion on his face whether you actually spoke those words or he had dreamt them.

‘You have?’ he asked carefully.

‘Of course I have, you idiot.’

You buried your face into your hands but before you could think of what else to say he moved closer to you and grabbed your wrists to force you to look into his eyes.  The way he looked at you made you regret saying those words even more.   
You tried to look down but he lifted your chin with his fingers, not allowing you to look away.

You knew you shouldn’t let this happen but you couldn’t stop yourself. Your hands grabbed hold of his chest and he breathed deeply when you touched him.

‘Tom,’ you whispered but before you could speak his hand was in your neck, pulling you closer to kiss you.

His lips on yours was like electricity, and he didn’t hesitate, opening you up to him with his tongue, slowly but surely. You had no choice but to kiss him back and you clung to his shirt, desperate for more contact. His arm snaked around your waist to pull you closer.

‘I’ve missed you so much,’ he breathed in between kissing you,’ every damn inch of you.’

His lips moved to your neck and you knew soon there would be no stopping this.

If your brain was going to kick in and interfere it would have to be now.

Now.

You let go of the grip you had on his shirt and instead started pushing him back.

‘Don’t,’ he whispered,’ don’t pull back from me.’

He leaned his face against yours and you hesitated, letting your lips meet his again but when he tried to pull you onto his lap you stopped him.

‘No, no, no, we’re not doing this,’ you were up from the couch and out from under his grip as quickly as you could manage,’ get out.’

He stared at you in defeat and just shook his head,’ Please don’t…’

‘Get out,’ you repeated, more firmly this time and he didn’t need to be told again. 

He stood up from the couch and straightened his hair and shirt before he gave you one last look and left.

***

You knocked on Sebastian’s door half an hour later, relieved to have him open it within seconds, as if he’d been expecting you.

‘Hey, gorgeous,’ he smiled, his eyes were a little sleepy and he was wearing a black sweat pants and t-shirt, making it clear he had no place to go tonight.

‘Are you alone?’ you asked.

‘I am.’

‘I have more frustration to work though, will you help me?’

‘Of course,’ he nodded his head and opened his door to let you in.

You pushed him inside and slammed the door behind you, then continued to push him until he fell back on his couch. A look of surprise mixed with expectation on his face while he looked at you.

Without any hesitations you took off your top, pulled down your jeans and stepped out of your panties, leaving you completely naked in front of him.

‘Fuck,’ you heard him mutter under his breath while he licked his lips and let his eyes roam over your body, not knowing where to look first.

You put your hands on his shoulders and pushed him back on the couch while you straddled him.   
His hands moved up your legs towards your ass and he grunted when you rolled your hips against him, putting the perfect friction against your clit and making him hard within seconds. You were so soaked you were leaving a wet stain on the fabric of his sweatpants.

You brought your lips to his ear,’ Fuck me, now. Don’t be gentle.’

Your hand sank down into his pants and wrapped around his cock, making him hiss between his teeth. You knew you were rushing but you didn’t care, and he didn’t seem to mind either. 

He grabbed your neck and attacked your mouth in a hungry kiss. You eagerly reciprocated, all the while keeping your hand on his cock and rubbing him until he was completely hard.   
He was already thrusting into your hand, making it clear he was equally impatient as you were tonight. 

He bit your lip and moaned into your mouth while he played with your nipples. You gasped when he replaced his fingers with his mouth and started sucking hard. When you felt his teeth graze your skin your back arched and you dug your nails into his neck.

He grabbed your ass and turned you around until you were lying on your back on his couch. He pulled down his pants and placed himself on top of you. But not before spreading your legs with his knee and drowning his cock into your wetness without any warning.

‘Is this what you want?’ he breathed against your neck and started thrusting, slowly at first but then he started pounding harder, fucking you into the couch while he grabbed your wrists to hold them above your head.

‘Yes,’ you moaned,’ fuck yes.’

His mouth was on your neck again and his moans right there by your ear. You watched the sweat on his forehead and the way he gritted his teeth, he was losing control over his thrusts and he bit down on your neck, making you scream while your orgasm started washing over you.

‘That’s it, fuck, take me with you,’ his voice was shaking, making it clear that he was on the verge,’ Cum for me, baby. Come.’    
His last word was a growl in your ear while he lost control and spilled inside of you. You came as quickly and hard as he did.

‘Oh my fucking god,’ he let out a satisfied heavy sigh and laughed.

‘Oh god,’ you covered your face with your hands,’ I’m sorry.’

He leaned back and looked into your eyes,’ Sorry? What the hell for?’

‘For bursting in here and practically jumping you.’

‘Yes, poor old me, having to put my dick in a beautiful sexy woman that’s as horny for me as I am for her,’ he shook his head and rolled his eyes, laughing,’ It’s every man’s worst nightmare, how will I ever recover from this?’

You laughed but still shook your head,’ It’s embarrassing.’

‘Hey,’ he caressed your cheek and put a few stray locks of hair behind your ear, his gentle touch made you shiver after the forceful way he just fucked you a couple of minutes ago.

‘You are a gorgeous woman and there is nothing in the world I enjoy more than fucking you,’ he spoke softly while he pulled you back on his lap and looked deeper into your eyes,’ Don’t you ever feel bad for coming to me and telling me what you want. I’m not looking for anything serious, you’re looking for a distraction from your ex, we’re just helping each other out here. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.’

‘Is that what we’re doing?’

‘Yeah,’ he pulled you down on him and kissed your lips,’ and if you give me a few minutes, I think I might be in need of some more serious help.’

You smiled and kissed him back,’ You are?’

‘Oh yeah, I feel a huge need coming up,’ he kissed you deeper and you knew you weren’t leaving his apartment that night.

***

It was morning by the time you made it out of there. As soon as you stepped outside he had his hands on your waist again, trying to pull you back inside.  
‘Sebastian,’ you sighed.

‘Come on, stay a little longer,’ he insisted,’ I can make you breakfast.’

‘I don’t want this to become a habit,’ you stood your ground but his eyes were piercing yours, making it hard to resist him. 

He leaned his forehead against yours and whispered,’ I can have you for breakfast.’  
He bit his bottom lip and gave you his most sexy stare. 

Fuck, this man was too much to handle.

Just as you were about to cave the door from Tom’s apartment opened and he stepped out, wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

You instinctively pulled out of Sebastian’s arms but it was too late, it would take an idiot not to see what happened between the two of you. Tom was not an idiot.

Well, he was, but not regarding this.

He froze and you watched his face tense up in anger when he saw the two of you. 

‘Good morning, Thomas,’ Sebastian gave him a cheeky grin.

You shook your head at Sebastian, trying to make it clear you wanted him to back off but of course his eyes were focused on Tom again and no longer on you.

Seriously? As soon as these two were in the same room it was as if you completely disappeared.

‘Good morning,’ Tom answered. 

‘Hope we didn’t keep you awake last night,’ Seb’s words made you want to slap him but Tom just shook his head in a little smile before taking a step closer.

‘That’s quite alright, I’m used to hearing her scream louder,’ he then answered coldly.

You had to cover your mouth to stifle a laugh. You knew you should stop this before it got out of hand, just take a step forward and put yourself in between the two men, but part of you wanted to see how this would play out. 

Plus seeing them both so possessive was turning you on a little.

If looks could kill you’d be standing between two dead bodies right now though, while Seb had been playfully teasing just a few minutes ago the look on his face now was pure anger while Tom now had a casual smile on his face.

‘Sometimes women scream to overcompensate,’ Seb then spoke while he looked Tom right in the eyes.

‘That was never the case, I can assure you,’ Tom spoke calmly but firmly.

‘Be that as it may,’ Seb regained his confidence and smiled again,’ her screams belong to me now. She doesn’t need you anymore so run along.’

‘And you think she needs you?’ Tom chuckled,’ you’re nothing but a distraction, you don’t mean a thing to her.’

‘Oh for the love of god, can you just stop? Both of you!’ you interfered.

They both looked up at you, Seb avoided your eyes and Tom mouthed sorry before he started backing away, back to the door of his apartment.   
He gave you one last look before he disappeared inside and shut the door behind him.

Your eyes turned to Seb and you raised your eye brow at him.

‘I’m sorry, he gets under my skin,’ he sighed.

‘Then don’t let him.’

He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him, catching your lips in quick kiss that put the smile back on your face.  
‘I don’t like the idea of you and him,’ he then confessed.

You took your hand and looked at him,’ Don’t do that, don’t get jealous.’

He was quiet while he looked at you and nodded his head.

‘I mean it, Seb,’ you repeated,’ What we have is perfect, I don’t want any feelings getting in the way of that.’

‘Alright, I get it.’

‘And I don’t belong to anyone. Nor do my screams.’

‘I just said that to rile him up, you know that.’

‘Well good, because I love what we have, and I’d hate to lose it.’

‘So would I,’ he spoke softly and smiled,’ Don’t worry about it, no feelings, no strings, only the good stuff.’

He kissed your lips again and then put his hands on your shoulders and pushed you back while he grinned at you,’ Now get going and let me enjoy my Sunday in peace, you’re suffocating me here.’

He managed to put a smile on your face and you grabbed your keys and opened your door, giving him one last smile before you stepped inside.

You missed the way the smile completely faded from his face as soon as you were out of sight.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have a close encounter with Tom that makes you hopeful there might still be a future for you two. But can you really forget about Sebastian that easily? And is Tom worthy of a second chance?
> 
> The beginning of this chapter is pretty explicit, oral sex, fingering, dirty talk. The rest is mainly angst and some fluff. Enjoy ;)

‘Don’t stop…please don’t stop..oh god…Tom.’

Your fingers sank into his blond curls while you looked down on him, his face buried between your legs, looking up every now and then to make eye contact with you.   
The look in those blue eyes was hungry and the little hums of pleasure leaving his lips almost obscene while his mouth was taking you to another world.

Fuck he was good with that tongue. 

You were shaking, pulling his hair while he moaned against you, squirming underneath him but he held you down forcefully. You were not going anywhere until he was done with you.   
He was relentless, teasing you until you wanted to scream but your voice seemed gone. 

All you could do was bite your lip hard and throw your head back into the pillow. When he replaced his tongue with his fingers your voice came out in a scream and he chuckled deeply.

‘That’s it, my sweet girl, I knew you would scream for me,’ his voice was like music to your ears, so velvety smooth, so fucking sexy and comfortably familiar at the same time. 

You needed him, more of him, harder, faster, deeper inside you.

You pulled his curls to bring his face up to meet yours but when he did you watched his face change. He was no longer blond and the blue eyes that met yours were surrounded by darker and thicker hair and an incredibly sexy smirk.

He was no longer Tom.

‘Sebastian,’ you moaned.

He pushed your hands above your head and spread your legs open further while he leaned his forehead against yours, staring at you with big hungry eyes.

‘Tell me you want me,’ his voice was raw and shaky at the same time,’ I need to hear you say it.’

‘I want you,’ your body was shaking, desperate for release, there was no confusion in your mind about what was happening. Your need for relief was stronger than any logic and you clung to his strong shoulders.

‘Just fuck me, Sebastian.’

‘Tell me you want only me,’ he breathed while he pushed you deeper into the bed.

‘Only you,’ you moaned,’ fuck…Seb…please…I need to come…fuck…please…’

Please.

You reached for him but suddenly all you grabbed was an empty pillow and you jumped up in the bed. Your bed, alone.

Shit.

You let yourself fall down and let out a deep sigh. You’ve had vivid dreams before but this one was extremely, creepily, arousingly vivid.

You tried to ignore the burning feeling between your legs but your hand was already traveling down to your stomach and lower.   
You couldn’t deny yourself any longer and you sighed deeply when your fingers disappeared into your panties and put pressure right where you needed it.  It was no surprise you were completely soaked.

You couldn’t remember whose name you screamed or whose face you saw when you finally fell apart, only that you came so hard you had to muffle your scream into your pillow.

You were distracted that morning when you walked into the elevator, if you’d have seen him you would surely have taken the stairs but you already set foot inside when you noticed him standing, leaned against the wall. 

Tom.

You pushed the button and turned your back to him.

‘So you’re sleeping with him?’ his voice was calm but you knew him well enough to hear his suppressed anger.

You let out an annoyed sigh and didn’t answer.

‘That’s what you want now, is it?’ he asked.

‘No, it’s not what I want,’ you turned to face him and crossed your arms while you stared him dead in the eyes,’ it just keeps happening without any will of my own, no matter what I do I always seem to land on his dick.’

His eyes were shooting fire at you and there was a little nervous twist in the corner of his lips.

‘Yes, I’m sleeping with him and yes it’s what I want right now,’ you admitted,’ and it’s none of your business. You left, you don’t get a say in what I do anymore.’

‘I thought we were on a break.’

‘Oh please, don’t go all Ross on me,’ you sighed angrily,’ You decided to go on a break, I was never consulted.’

‘Do you not remember our last conversation at all? You said that you needed a change, and you told me….,’ he sighed before continuing,’ you told me I made you miserable.’

You felt your anger slip. He was right, you did remember your last conversation, you remembered it very well. You were tired, and Tom had been moody for weeks, things weren’t going well at work, for either of you and you both took it out on each other.

’I never said I wanted a change from us,’ you disagreed,’ it was a rough patch, you don’t run when things get difficult, you stay and try to fix it. You don’t drop off the bottom of the earth with one single text message.’

‘I thought I was doing you a favor by giving you some space,’ he continued,’ I was wrong, okay, I know that now. I was wrong about a lot of things. You seemed so angry with me, I didn’t know what to do. And that night I got the offer for the job in Hollywood. I just took it and went for it.’

You nodded your head and avoided looking at him.

‘I couldn’t stay here and watch us die a slow death,’ he spoke softly,’ I wouldn’t have been able to handle that.’

‘So you left me to die alone.’

Your words caused him to stay quiet for a while.

‘It was the worst decision I ever made,’ he then admitted and he stepped closer to you, looking deeper into your eyes with the saddest look in his eyes,’ I want you back.’

You chuckled and looked down but he moved closer again, trapping you between his body and the elevator wall, forcing you to look up to him. And then he hit the emergency break, making the elevator stop.

The sad look made room for a more determined one and his hand rested on your waist.  
‘I need you back,’ he repeated.

You were shaking your head in protest and reached for the button to make the elevator move again but he grabbed your hand to stop you.

‘What do you want, Tom?’

‘I want one shot, one chance to convince you, if you tell me you feel nothing for me after that, I’ll go. Pack my bags and find a new place to live, you have my word on that.’

You stayed quiet and looked at him,’ So, what does that mean exactly, one shot?’  
He leaned his forehead against yours and pierced your eyes with his, the hungry look was making you weak on your feet.

‘I just want to remind you how good I can make you feel,’ he then whispered and his hand was traveling down your waist. 

Your breath was quickening and he let his thumb run over your bottom lip softly,’ Will you let me?’

You wanted to say no but the words didn’t come, his hands felt so right on you, the way his fingers were caressing your neck made your heart beat faster. You didn’t want him to stop.

He pushed his face against yours while he breathed against your skin, making you even more weak. 

‘Let me remind you what these fingers can do,’ he was slowly opening up the zipper of your pants until it fell down to your ankles.

His fingers grazed the inside of your thigh, teasing you with featherlight touches, moving up ever so slowly to touch the fabric of your panties.  
You bit your lip when his fingers disappeared underneath, softly and slowly caressing your folds until you moaned.

‘You are soaked, love,’ he grinned and put pressure on your clit, making you weak on your feet. You put your arm around his neck to hold yourself up.

‘Fuck,’ you bit his lip and he quickly took advantage of the moment to slip his tongue into your mouth to kiss you deeply, a kiss you welcomed this time. 

‘Do you want this?’ he teased you, breathing heavily into your ear while he played with your clit and held you up against the wall. He was bringing you close to the edge but pulled back his fingers every time you were about to cave.

He knew what he was doing, and it was driving you crazy,‘ Do you want to cum?’

‘Yes,’ you moaned,’ fuck, yes.’

You fell deeper into his arms when he pushed two fingers inside you and curled them to find the perfect angle.

‘That’s it, that’s my spot,’ he bit your earlobe and his deep chuckle in your ear turned you on even more.

‘Tom, I’m close.’

‘I know, my darling.’

‘Please don’t stop.’

‘I’m not going to stop,’ he was pumping in and out of you relentlessly, until your scream of pleasure filled the little space and you clung to his shoulders. He let you ride it out and kept rubbing you down slowly while he held you in his arms.

His lips searched for yours and you didn’t hesitate to kiss him, still high from his touch. You didn’t want to overthink this, you just wanted to stay close to him a little longer before reality came knocking.

‘I’ve missed you,’ you sighed,’ Fuck, I’ve missed you so much.’

‘Me too, darling,’ he held you close and kissed your hair and your forehead,’ I’m never leaving you again. I’m so, so sorry for being an idiot.’

You clung to him a while longer but then pulled back to look into his eyes.

’I don’t know if I can just forget what happened, Tom,’ you shook your head and started pulling your pants back up and closing the zipper.

‘Why not?’ he asked,’ we can start over, can’t we?’

‘You broke my trust.’

He took your hand and looked into your eyes,’ then let me earn it back, give me a chance.’

You looked at him, his eyes were so sincere, so filled with love that you wanted to believe him. You did believe him.

‘I need some time, okay,’ you finally spoke and pushed the emergency button to make the elevator move again.

‘Some time is good,’ Tom smiled and you couldn’t help but smile back at him,’ I can give you time, I’ll do whatever it takes, whatever you want.’  
He squeezed your hand and you didn’t pull back.

At that moment the doors of the elevator opened and you stared right into Seb’s face. 

He noticed your smile, your flushed cheeks and disheveled hair and Tom’s hand holding yours. And what made it worse, Sebastian watched Tom adjust his pants with a satisfied smirk.

‘Morning, Sebastian,’ he then spoke.

‘Seb,’ you muttered.

Sebastian was just nodding his head and avoided looking into your eyes,’ I’ll take the stairs.’  
His voice was cold and he quickly turned his back to you.

‘Seb, wait, it’s not what it looks like.’

‘I don’t care,’ he waved his hand and disappeared behind the corner without looking back at you.

Of course it was what it looked like, it was exactly what it looked like.

‘Hey,’ Tom put his hand on your shoulder but he took it back when you cringed at his touch,’ Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.’

‘Yeah,’ you sighed, not entirely convinced.

‘Do you want to go have breakfast somewhere?’ Tom suggested.

‘I think I want to be alone for the rest of the day, Tom.’

He nodded his head and took a step back from you, the smile faded from his face,’ Alright, I’ll be here when you need me.’

***

You were dozing off on the couch that night when you woke up from noises in the hallway. Your neck hurt from the bad position in which you fell asleep and when you looked at your phone you noticed it was way past midnight.

There was a woman giggling just outside your door, while another deeper voice laughed and urged the female voice to keep quiet. You stood from the couch and made your way to the door. 

It wasn’t the first time you wished you had a spy hole in there so you could actually see what was happening on the other side. You leaned your ear against the door and when they laughed again there was no doubt in your mind. 

It was Seb, and he wasn’t alone, and by the sound of it having quite the satisfying night.

You hesitated, dying of curiosity to see what was happening but there was no way you wanted to open your door and let them know you were here.

Until suddenly there was a loud bang on your door followed by more giggling and another sound that mad your stomach turn. They were moaning and kissing.  
Within a split second you forgot your pride and turned your key to open the door. 

The woman fell back in Seb’s arms and covered her mouth while she continued to giggle. Seb held her close and bit his lip in a little smile while he looked at you,’ Sorry, we thought everyone was sleeping.’

‘I was sleeping,’ you crossed your arms while you looked at him. 

The anger was bubbling up in your chest and you knew your eyes were shooting fire but you didn’t even care to hide it.

What the hell was he doing? And why was he doing it against your door?

His hands were all over the blond woman while she continued to kiss his neck, completely ignoring you were there at all.

‘We’re sorry,’ he mouthed and he shook his head while he pulled her with him towards his apartment. 

They were still laughing while he was searching for his keys.

You stopped looking after she bit his earlobe and her hands were sinking lower across his stomach grabbing his belt.

You slammed your door behind you.

***

You were having breakfast in Starbucks on your own the next morning, you didn’t want to see Tom so you walked extra far to make sure you wouldn’t run into him.   
And after last night you weren’t so sure you wanted to see Seb either.

But the person who got on your nerves most this morning was yourself. You knew you had no reason to be annoyed with Sebastian, you were the one who had insisted you two should keep it casual, you were the one who didn’t want any strings or feelings.   
He did what you asked him to, making sure he didn’t get attached to you.  
But you couldn’t shake the feeling he was only doing it to get back at you for what happened in the elevator.

But what had you most shaken up was something else, that familiar unsettling feeling in the pit of your stomach. The way your heart had cringed when you watched Seb’s hands all over that girl.

You were jealous. 

You took one last sip of your coffee and looked at your cell phone. You had one message from Tom, asking you out to lunch. You closed your phone without answering it and leaned back in the couch.

He wasn’t the one you wanted to see today, even though you two had a lot of unfinished business.   
Your unfinished business today was with Seb.

***

You hoped you would find him at the gym that morning and you got your wish, he was lifting weights in his usual spot.   
You walked right up to him.

He put away his weights as soon as he saw you and sat up on the bench.

‘Hey,’ you spoke softly.

‘What’s up?’ he leaned forward to look at you, there was no smile there to greet you this time, he looked tired and annoyed.

‘I thought you might still be in bed after last night,’ you stated.

He ruffled through his hair and put on his cap,’ I would never drop my work out just because I have a hangover. What do you want?’

‘Can we talk, please?’

‘Fine, he sighed,’ but not here.’

He stood up and you followed him into the dressing room where the two of you were alone.

‘Shouldn’t you be with Tom right now?’ he asked as he sat down on one of the benches.  
‘Shouldn’t you be with blondie right now?’ you threw back.

He shook his head.

‘I’m sorry,’ you avoided looking at him,’ that wasn’t fair, I don’t know why I said that.’

‘You and me are just casual, right? Isn’t that what you wanted, no strings attached, that’s what you said, right?’

‘Yes, that is what I said,’ you sighed, annoyed at him for pointing out the obvious.

‘And you clearly have things you need to work out with Tom,’ he turned to look at you, a soft look in his eyes for the first time this morning,’ I’d only be in your way.’

‘What happened to us just having fun? Helping each other out? Isn’t that what you said? What the hell changed, Seb?’

‘I fucking like you, that’s what’s changed,’ he spat out and he stood up, clearly annoyed at himself for speaking up.

You didn’t know what to say to him.

‘I know I act all tough when he’s around and joke about it but the truth is…I can’t stand to see you with him, okay,’ he continued,’ is that what you wanted to hear?’

‘Seb,’ you reached for his hand but he stepped back.

‘Don’t! We both know you’re going back to him. If not now then later, I’m just saving myself the trouble here. I’m not waiting around for you to chose him.’

You took a step closer to him, afraid he would move again but he stayed this time, avoiding your eyes while he nervously bit his lip.

‘So it’s over?’ you asked.

‘It’s for the best. You go back to him and I’ll just distract myself with some more blondes. We’ll both be fine, doll, it’s no big deal.’

He looked into your eyes and shrugged his shoulders in a little sad smile. He was trying so hard to act casual it made your heart cringe, and you didn’t believe him for a second.

The look on his face just made you want to hug him and hold on tight but you were afraid to touch him again after he pulled back from you earlier.

‘Sebastian,’ you whispered and shook your head,’ I don’t…we shouldn’t…I didn’t mean to…’

He noticed you were struggling to find the right words and he leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to your forehead.

‘I’ll see you around, stranger,’ he then said before walking away and leaving you alone in the dressing room.

***

You had planned on spending that night alone but after a few hours on your couch you were starting to regret that decision. You had started watching 3 movies so far and none of them managed to hold your attention. 

What you wanted most tonight was a distraction, but the man who could give that to you like no one else could was no longer available. 

And you didn’t want to text Tom. But as if he read your mind he was the one to text you first.

‘So, you blew me off for lunch and you blew me off for dinner. At some point you’re gonna have to eat today, darling, can I come by? With food?’

The smile on your face appeared involuntarily and it stayed there while you started typing,’ You read my mind, I’m starving.’

He was in front of your door half an hour later, carrying two bags, one filled with Chinese food and one with pizza. Your mood was lifted instantly.

You sat on the couch eating and drinking, Tom sensed you weren’t in the mood for much talking so he suggested just putting on a movie. Somehow in his presence you felt calmer and able to actually enjoy what was on the screen. 

You also enjoyed the way his hand casually came to rest on your knee every now and then, squeezing your skin softly and meeting your eyes in a little sweet smile.

Maybe Seb was right, maybe this was where you belonged, maybe this was always going to happen no matter what.   
You would end up with Tom, and he would make you happy this time, it wouldn’t be like before. 

You grabbed his hand and he moved closer to you on the couch.  
‘Thank you,’ you whispered.

‘For what?’

‘For not letting me starve,’ you smiled.

‘I will gladly feed you every day for the rest of our lives,’ the warm look he gave you made your heart melt but you wanted to be careful.   
Your heart wasn’t ready to open up to him completely yet.

‘Let me think about that,’ you smiled, hoping to keep the mood light but at the same time keep your distance from him.

‘That’s fine,’ he spoke softly,’ I can wait.’

You put your arms around his waist and let him hug you, which he did as quickly as he could. The warmth of his arms around you and the soft kisses on your forehead were quickly taking away your last hesitations. 

You didn’t speak much after that, you both just watched the movie while his hands never left you. For once in a long time you actually felt good in his presence and you wanted to relish in it.  You were thankful for him not making any advances tonight but you had already decided there was no way you were letting him leave your apartment that night.

That was the plan.

Until Tom stood up from the couch for a few minutes to use the bathroom.

‘Hey, I know this is going to sound bad, but I’m still kind of hungry,’ you confessed.

He grinned at you and threw you his phone,’ Why don’t you order dessert? The Italian place is the last number I dialed, their tiramisu is to die for.’

He disappeared into the bathroom with a smile.

It was such a small stupid detail, if you hadn’t asked for dessert he wouldn’t have thrown you his phone. You wouldn’t have looked for the number and found the other number he called just a few days ago, the number that had the picture of a gorgeous blond woman next to it. 

You wouldn’t have looked into his photos to find out who she was, and you wouldn’t have found all the pictures of her and Tom together, sharing hugs and kisses at several occasions.

The night would have ended so differently, if only you hadn’t asked for dessert.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter: You are trying your best to keep your distance from both men but when they both end up in the same bar as you and your friends things heat up…
> 
> Time to give Sebastian a little more attention in this chapter ;)
> 
> NSFW18+, some dirty talk, teasing, fingering and full on smut. 
> 
> Also some feels/fluff. I’ve tried to hold back on the angst in this one but there’s still a bit in there.

You were staring at Tom’s phone with tears in your eyes by the time he came back from the bathroom. He took one look at you and realized his mistake.

‘I can explain,’ he muttered and he tried to make his way over to you.

‘Don’t bother,’ you threw his phone back at him, stopping him midway,’ I can’t believe I was about to let you back into my bed! I am so fucking stupid! 

‘If you just let me explain…’

‘Get away from me!’

‘It’s not what it looks like,’ he insisted.

‘Oh please, it’s always what it looks like,’ you shook your head in disbelief and turned away from him,’ Get out, please.’

‘Just listen to me,’ he insisted,’ she’s not…’

‘Get out!’ you raised your voice to interrupt him.

‘Please,’ he insisted.

‘Out!’ your voice had turned into an angry shriek and he knew there was no way you would listen to anything he had to say right now.

He shook his head and moved away from you towards the door.

You held back your tears until he was gone. As soon as he’d closed the door behind him you fell apart.

***

For the next few weeks you drowned yourself in work. You stayed overtime whenever you could and took on extra files just so you could stay in the office longer.   
You came home late every night, rushing to hide in your apartment and you magically succeeded in avoiding both Tom and Sebastian.   

You were pretty sure Seb was doing the same and trying to avoid you too, and however much you wanted to, you knew you couldn’t call him.   
You didn’t want to hurt him any more than you may have already.

And while Tom swore he had an explanation for the pictures you found on his phone, he also seemed to understand that you were too angry and upset to talk to him. So he also kept his distance from you.

It was what you wanted, you thought. No men, no drama.

But you missed them, both of them.

 

You shared an office space with 10 other women in a small firm downtown. Your job was mostly paper work, answering phone calls, typing up letters. It was pretty boring work but you liked it nevertheless.   
The office was close to your apartment, the stress level wasn’t very high and your colleagues were really nice and fun to work with, which was a lot more than you were used to at previous jobs. You considered yourself lucky. 

You looked up when Lisa called your name,’ Good morning, love.’

‘What’s up?’ you asked.

‘There’s another one,’ she smiled a little nervously and put a bouquet of white roses on top of your desk.

‘Oh god,’ you let out a heavy sigh and shook your head.

‘Whoever this guy is, he’s persistent, this is 11 days in a row now. I don’t know who Tom is,’ she said while looking at the card,’ or what he’s done to you but I would really consider forgiving him if I were you.’

You pushed the bouquet back towards her,’ Throw it in the bin or give it to someone who wants them.’

‘You’re not even going to read what he wrote?’

‘Nope’

‘What did he do?’

‘Let’s just say he’s not who I thought he was,’ you sighed.

‘Alright,’ she took the flowers from your desk and looked at them,’ white would sit really nicely on the table in my living room. Do you mind?’

‘Go right ahead,’ you gave her a smile.

She winked and started walking but then she turned around to look at you again,’ Hey, do you want to go to the bar with us after work tonight? It’s just us single girls drinking and complaining about men.’

‘I guess…that sounds like something I could do,’ you smiled and nodded your head.  
‘Great,’ she smiled.

‘Oh, and by the way,’ you added,’ he left me for dead and moved to LA to hook up with another woman.’

Lisa’s smile faded as she walked away with the flowers and threw them into the bin with one hard push. You could just hear her mutter 'bastard' before she went back to her own desk.

***

You had chosen your favorite little black dress to wear that night, the bar was one you’d visited before when you and Tom were still together. You used to have a girls night with colleagues every few months, but the longer you and Tom dated the more you just wanted to stay in and spend time with him.   
The girls nights happened less and less and you were really looking forward to reviving them tonight.

There were 6 women there, Lisa and Sarah who you knew quite well from working with them daily, Tracy who was a newly divorcee from accounting, and two younger women who you’d only seen in passing but who welcomed you into the group instantly.   
The music soon lifted your mood. The conversations were relaxed and the alcohol was flowing and you realized you should have done this sooner, just a night of fun without thinking about men. 

It was exactly what you needed right now.

That was until you saw him standing by the bar, surrounded by his own group of friends: Sebastian.

He was just taking a sip from his drink when he noticed you. You watched his smile fade for a second and you could tell he was no longer listening to his friend babbling on next to him. He was too distracted by staring at you.

And you had the same problem, he was wearing a black leather jacket and a grey shirt that was unbuttoned to show off a bit of his chest, but it was mostly his intense stare that drew your attention.  

You had missed the way he looked at you with those sexy eyes, and while you were standing there drowning in them you realized that wasn’t the only thing you missed. You missed being in his presence, laughing at his jokes, feeling his hands on you and kissing him.   
And most of all you missed the way he made you feel when you were with him.

You managed to pull yourself away from his stare and took another long sip from your drink when Lisa grabbed you by the arm,’ I think it’s time we light up that dance floor, are you coming?’

You followed the other women, thankful to be out of Sebastian’s sight and more than willing to let the music be your distraction tonight. 

It didn’t matter that he was here, you were still going to have fun and nobody was going to stop you.

You danced with your colleagues for several hours, only taking small breaks in between to use the bathroom and order more drinks. The alcohol made you loosen up and helped you forget about the people around you. All you focussed on was the beat of the music and the loud base pounding in your ears.   
You knew the men on the dance floor were watching you and your friends but you didn’t care and you ignored them when they started dancing too close, which eventually made them give up.

You ignored them all except for one.

You knew he’d been dancing behind you for some time, you recognized his cologne and you had watched him from the corner of your eye. When you finally made eye contact he smiled and danced his way over to you.

His hands gently grazed your hips while you continued to dance, his hips swaying along with yours, finding that exact rhythm easily. His body behind yours comforted you in a strange way and you leaned back against his chest and closed your eyes while you danced. Focussing only on his body heat against yours, the music and the smell of his leather jacket mixed with alcohol and his cologne.

‘Hey, stranger,’ he whispered into your ear. His deep voice was enough to make you shiver and he put a firmer hand on your hip now that he felt you relax against him.

You looked over your shoulder to meet his eyes,’ Sebastian, I thought you wanted to stay away from me?’

‘I did say that, didn’t I?’ he grinned.

‘You absolutely did.’

He snaked his arm around your waist while he rolled his hips to the music and leaned his face against yours,’ I don’t know what I was thinking.’

You smiled and leaned your head back onto his shoulder. When the music slowed down you started moving your hips slower, pressing your ass against his groin. He joined your movements, melting his body with yours and you felt his warm breath against your neck. His lips gently brushed your skin, putting goosebumps all over your arms.

‘So you want to take it back?’ you teased him, moving deliberately slowly against him until you could feel his erection grow against your ass.

You don’t know why you were teasing him, you really had planned on keeping your distance after what he told you last time.   
But he was the one who came to you tonight and he clearly knew what he was doing. 

Not to mention the way he moved against you felt way too good for you to send him away now. It was already too late for that.

‘I take it all back,’ his lips were on your ear and he was breathing faster,’ You look so incredibly sexy tonight, I need to fuck you again if it’s the last thing I do.’

To stress his words he pushed his hardness against you. You put your hand on his thigh and slowly moved up. When you brushed against his straining erection he quickly spun you around so you were facing him, a little growl of frustration on his lips when you smiled at him.

His eyes were staring at you with that hungry look again, the look he usually gave you right before he would take off your clothes and make you beg him to fuck you.  You could feel the heat pool between your legs and you were starting to regret not wearing any underwear tonight.   
His little game of teasing had you soaked.

Seb’s hands were now on your ass, holding you in place while you danced and his one hand kept sinking a little bit lower with every move. You gasped when his fingers climbed underneath your dress and touched the bare skin on your thigh.

It was right then that your eyes left his for a second to notice the man standing by the side of the dance floor, staring right back at you. Eyes fixated only on you as he put down his drink and fixed his jacket, the look in his eyes intense and filled with rage.

You flinched for a second and Seb looked at you in surprise while he quickly took his hand back,’ I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to…’

‘It’s not you,’ you stared down at his chest, avoiding eye contact.

Sebastian looked across his shoulder and noticed Tom.

‘Are you shitting me?’ he sighed in frustration.

‘I didn’t know he was here,’ you clarified.

‘Do you need to go talk to him?’ Sebastian asked.

You looked into his eyes and shook your head,’ No, I…I don’t know.’

You hid your face against Sebastian’s neck and he sensed your nerves and pulled you closer in a hug.  
‘It’s okay,’ he then spoke softly into your ear,’ Tell me what to do.’

‘Just keep dancing with me,’ you leaned your face against his and looked into his eyes,’ and please touch my ass again.’

The eager smile on his face made you laugh.

‘Your wish is my command, princess,’ he pulled you closer and now used both hands to grab your ass. 

You let your hands run through his hair, letting yourself drown into his beautiful blue eyes. It quickly made you forget about the other pair of eyes that was tracking you from beside the dance floor.

Until someone tapped Sebastian on the shoulder,‘ May I please cut in and have one dance with her?’

You mouth dropped to the floor when you looked at Tom standing right in front of you.  
Sebastian seemed lost for words for a moment, releasing his grip on you.

‘Just a few minutes, I’ll hand her right back to you, I promise,’ Tom insisted with a fake friendly smile.

You were about to open your mouth and send him off until he looked at you and you watched his expression change. The look on his face was pleading, desperate and a lot more nervous than usual. His mouth was twitching and he looked beyond tired and suddenly your heart hurt for him.  

Apart from feeling sorry for him you also didn’t want to cause a scene, or do anything that would make either of these men cause a scene. 

It was clear Sebastian was waiting on your reaction to do or say something.

‘It’s okay, Seb,’ you heard yourself say the words yet you weren’t entirely sure why you were saying them,’ just one song.’

Tom moved in and took your hand in his, gently lacing his fingers with yours and before you knew it you were in his arms.

You let out a deep sigh when your eyes met his again, the look that greeted you now was kind, almost thankful for not turning him down. His embrace felt so warmly familiar and you put your arms around his neck.

‘I’m sorry,’ he sighed,’ I know I have no right to interrupt your evening, it’s just…I couldn’t stand seeing you with him any longer.’

 You could hear the hurt in his voice and knew what he must have felt witnessing you and Seb’s dirty dancing.  
‘I’m sorry, doing that in front of you was cruel, I wasn’t trying to make you jealous, I was just hoping it would encourage you to leave.’

‘Nothing you do will encourage me to leave,’ he spoke softly while his eyes pierced yours,’ I made that mistake once, I won’t be making it again.’

You stayed quiet.  
‘Are you okay?’ he then asked,’ you were so upset when I left you in your apartment that night…’

‘Stop sending me flowers. I don’t want anything from you anymore, Tom.’

‘I wanted you to know how sorry I was, and I was hoping you would let me explain.’

‘Alright, fine,’ you sighed impatiently,’ explain it to me then, if you think that will change anything. Tell me how it’s not what it looked like. Tell me who she is.’

‘I met her at one of the parties during my first week there and we clicked,’ he started,’ she took me under her wing and we started going to these things together. She knew a lot of people in the business. It was all about connections, she could put me in touch with important people that could help me get work.’

You rolled your eyes at him, of course, it was always about the work with him.

‘We just put on a show, played around a little bit,’ he continued.

‘I’ve heard enough, thank you.’

‘I never slept with her,’ his grip on your waist tightened while he looked deeper into your eyes,’ I never slept with anyone except you. I never lied to you, you have to believe me, I would never do that to you.’

The worst thing was you did believe him, but it didn’t matter anymore. However upset you felt that night seeing those pictures on his phone, it was never about the girl, it was about him leaving.   
The man you loved was gone, and what came back was a cheaper version of him, a version you couldn’t accept.

‘It’s over, Tom,’ you then sighed,’ It’s done, we are done.’

‘So what happened in the elevator meant nothing?’ he pulled you closer and when you looked back at him he could see the hesitation in your eyes.

He put his lips next to your ear,’ Have you forgotten how you screamed for me?’

You had no answer for him, of course you hadn’t forgotten. He still had an effect on you, you couldn’t deny it no matter how badly you wish you could. 

 The old version of him, the one who would always have your heart, was still somewhere in there.

You both danced in silence for a while, your arm resting on his shoulder. His fingers were caressing your back, one hand working its way up to graze your neck and pull your face close to his.   
His warm breath on your cheek and the way his fingers were playing with your hair made your cheeks flush.

‘Tom, please don’t,’ your voice was shaking, overcome by your own emotions.

‘I said I wanted a chance, and I’d walk away if you still said no after that,’ he spoke softly,’ but you didn’t say no in the elevator, you allowed me to touch you, begged me to let you cum while you could have just sent me away. You still feel something, you still care, I know it even if you don’t. Deep down you haven’t given up on us yet.’

You shook your head and closed your eyes, not willing to give into him.

‘I can’t let you go, I won’t,’ he whispered.

He pulled you into his arms and hugged you tight and your heart sank. You put both your arms around him and just held him close while the song neared it’s end. 

You closed your eyes and focused on his hands, his smell, the way he danced and lead you so perfectly, like he had never done anything else in his life.   
Like you would always be safe in his arms.

This time Tom was the one interrupted when Sebastian tapped on his shoulder.  
‘The song’s over, man,’ he said coldly,’ time to go.’

You were surprised by how quickly Tom let go of you, and a little less surprised by the punch that hit Sebastian right in the face.

‘Tom!’ you screamed his name in anger;’ What the hell?’

Sebastian fell back but didn’t hit the ground. After the initial shock wore off he just had a little smile on his face while he wiped the blood from his lip and shook his head in disbelief.   
You stood frozen for a few seconds.

So did Tom, who was just staring at his own hands in surprise, taken aback by what he had just done.

After a while your anger took over again and all you could think about was getting out of there. 

You stepped away from Tom while you grabbed Sebastian’s arm,’ We’re leaving.’  
Sebastian followed you eagerly. You both didn’t look back at Tom, who stood unmoved on the dance floor for several more minutes.

***

‘Shit, I’m so sorry,’ you found your breath again when you were outside of the noisy club,’ I should have sent him away sooner, I should have known this would happen.’

‘This is not your fault,’ Sebastian reassured you.

You were walking away fast until he grabbed your hand to make you stop,’ Hey, look at me.’

You were shaking when you finally stood still and met his eyes. His cheek was red where Tom hit him and there was a little cut at the corner of his lip. He was lucky Tom missed his nose or his eyes.

‘I’m sorry,’ your lip started trembling while you spoke.

‘Are you alright?’ Seb cupped your face and gently brushed your cheeks and your lip with his thumb. You nodded your head and fought against your tears.

‘He clearly upset you,’ he continued,’ I can go back in there and give him a piece of my mind, just say the word and I’ll punch his pretty face.’

You smiled through your tears,’ No, I don’t want that.’

‘Are you sure? It would be my pleasure,’ he gave you a cheeky smile and you grabbed his shirt and leaned your face against his while you shook your head.  Sebastian put his arms around you and hugged you tight. 

You smiled into his hug and breathed out a sigh of relief.

’Are you okay?’ he asked worried.

‘Yeah,’ you whispered,’ Take me home, Sebastian, please.’

‘Well, it’s a little out of my way, but okay,’ he joked, putting another smile on your face. 

***

Sebastian walked you to the door of your apartment, he had been relaxed and talkative all the way there, making you forget about the scene on the dance floor.  But the closer you got to the apartment the more nervous and quiet he became.

‘So, this is me,’ you smiled and you watched him play with his hair nervously while he avoided looking at you.

You looked away to open your door and when you looked back at him he was staring right at you.

‘Do you want me to go?’ he asked softly.

You immediately shook your head and took his hand,’ No, I’d really like you to stay with me tonight. But only if you want to, it’s fine if you don’t, I probably shouldn’t have asked after what you said last time, God I’m sorry, this is completely selfish of me, forget it, I should just…’  
You bit your lip to stop yourself from rambling on and freed your hand from his but he immediately grabbed it again and took a step closer to you.

’When I saw you standing by the bar tonight,’ he spoke so softly it made you shiver,’ you looked so beautiful I couldn’t keep my eyes off you. I wanted to go home and keep my distance but then I watched you dance…and all I could think about was how badly I needed to touch you again.’

He looked deeper into your eyes while his voice dropped,’ I don’t care what you’re going through with him, I don’t care if you’re still sharing a bed with him.’

You shook your head in protest but he just shook his head, ignoring your attempt as if it didn’t matter.

‘I need you,’ he leaned his face against yours while he whispered,’ I need you so fucking bad.’

You stopped thinking the moment his lips touched yours, all you could think about was how much you needed him too. 

You pulled him into your apartment and pushed him up against the door, the exact spot where he made you cum so hard that first night.  
He moaned into the kiss, desperate to feel your mouth on his, sucking on your lips and playing with your tongue. 

His hands were pulling the top of your dress down, revealing your shoulders and breasts. Your head fell back against the door when he started kissing your neck and you moaned his name when his tongue danced across your nipples. Your entire body was on fire, desperate for his touch but there was one particular spot that was seriously starting to ache for him.

‘Seb,’ you moaned and you grabbed his hand and guided him underneath your dress, a sigh of relief escaping your lips when you felt his fingers on your clit.

‘No underwear? Oh you dirty girl,’ he grinned and let his fingers sink right into your folds. He grinned even more when he felt how soaked you were already and he started making slow circles right where you needed it.

‘Fuck,’ you bit your lip to stifle a moan.

‘You’re so wet, is this all for me?’ he teased.

‘Yes,’ you moaned,’ All your damn fault.’ 

That wasn’t a lie.

You rubbed yourself against his hand until he slid two fingers deeper inside of you, slowly, in and out and back up to work on your clit.  

He repeated his movements until you were ready to fall apart in his arms,’ Fuck…please, Seb.’

You had no idea how you always ended up begging him to fuck you but it seemed to be the effect he had on you and you couldn’t stop yourself. 

You were addicted to him and enjoying every second of your new addiction.

He pulled his fingers back and guided you towards the couch where he pushed you down and placed himself on top of you.  
Your legs made their way around his waist while he took off his shirt and threw it on the ground. 

‘Fuck me,’ you asked while you tried to grab his belt but he stopped you.

‘Always so impatient,’ he shook his head and grabbed your wrists to put your hands above your head while he leaned over to kiss your neck again, pushing his hardness up against you, the friction of his jeans on your sensitive spots making you moan again.

‘Stop teasing me,’ you whined.

‘You’ve been teasing me all night, doll, you got me so hard on that dance floor,’ he lowered your one hand and put it on his pants. You could feel his hard cock through his jeans and you wasted no time rubbing him through the fabric. He bucked his hips into your hand while he whimpered your name.

‘I need you inside of me,’ you moaned.

‘How bad do you need me?’ 

‘I’ve wanted you to fuck me since I saw you by the bar tonight.’

‘Is that so?’ the satisfied grin on his face made you smile and you watched him quickly unzip his pants. Finally his own need was taking over.

‘Fuck me, Sebastian,’ you whispered into his ear while you locked your legs around his waist, making him moan when the tip of his cock sank into your wetness,’ bury yourself inside me and fuck me hard.’

Your words were enough to make him lose it, he grabbed hold of your hips and pushed himself in deep, taking both your breaths away.

He moaned your name loudly while he started moving his hips.

A smile formed on your face as soon as he was inside of you, the feeling of him filling you up and the sight of him losing himself in you was all you needed. You put your arms around his neck and dug your nails into his back.

‘Fuck, I’ve missed this,’ he breathed,’ I’ve missed you.’

His thrusts quickly grew faster and harder, driving you towards your orgasm.  
‘Me too,’ you moaned,’ oh god, me too, Seb.’

‘Open your eyes, baby,’ he whispered and you opened them to find him staring at you. He was slowing down his thrusts and trying to take his time, pulling out completely to then drive himself back in.   
Your eyes fell closed again in a deep moan.

‘Please, keep your eyes on me,’ he repeated.

You opened your eyes and let your fingers disappear into his hair while you held his face close to yours.   
‘Let me see you while I make you cum,’ he whispered and you could feel him lose control again, fucking you harder and faster,’ oh god, I can’t hold back, I’m gonna…’

When his fingers found your clit it only took a few seconds for you to be right there with him, your orgasm rushing through you as you clenched around him, finally getting what you’ve been craving all night.

Seb was grunting louder and louder until he finally came with a violent shudder and pulled your body against his.

You lay in each other’s arms for a while until your breathing slowed down. He moved himself to lay next to you, holding you tight so you could both stay on the couch. 

His fingers were dancing on your back, caressing your skin while he put soft kisses on your forehead. You were melting in his arms.

You didn’t want him to leave, not because you wanted to fuck him again, which you did, but because you just needed him to stay with you. Forget about keeping it casual and no strings, you didn’t want to leave his arms tonight.

‘Stay with me?’ you asked.

He nodded his head without saying a word and leaned closer to kiss your lips, his kiss gentle and soft.

‘As long as you want,’ he then whispered and kissed you again, deeper this time. You pulled his naked body against yours and buried your face into his neck, surprised by your own feelings.

‘Seb,’ you whispered.

‘Yeah?’

‘I think…I…I feel…,’ you tried to find the words but they didn’t reach your lips. He looked into your eyes and nodded his head.

‘It’s okay,’ he whispered,’ you don’t have to say anything.’

‘I think I really, really, like you,’ you managed to speak.

‘I really, really, like you too,’ the smile on his face and the way his eyes lit up warmed your heart.

He hugged you tighter and you closed your eyes.  
‘I’m sorry for ruining your girls night,’ he then joked.

You hit him on the chest and laughed. 

‘You didn’t ruin anything, on the contrary,’ you looked up into his eyes,’ You make everything better, Sebastian.’

You kissed his lips and he pulled you on top of him, deepening the kiss and making it clear the night was far from over.

***

Sebastian was emptying his mailbox the next afternoon when Tom walked into the building.   
Both men just stared at each other for a few seconds until Tom spoke.

‘I’m sorry about your face,’ he apologized,’ I didn’t mean for that to happen.’

’It’s fine,’ Seb sighed,’ I probably would have done the same.’

‘So, you two are together now?’ Tom asked.

‘That’s really none of your business, is it?’ Sebastian locked his mailbox and turned to look at Tom,’ but yeah, and if I have any say in it, I’m never letting her go. I’d be an idiot to ever let a woman that good slip away.’

Tom nodded his head,’ I was an idiot.’

‘Your words, not mine,’ Seb raised his hands and started walking away.

‘Well, it’s the truth, I was a fool.’

Seb sighed,’ You probably should have realized that before you broke her heart.’

‘I’m not giving up on her,’ Tom added,’ she may be infatuated with you right now but we have 3 years of history together. You can’t just wipe that away, no matter how much she tries to replace me with some random guy. No offense.’

Seb gave him an angry look but didn’t say anything.

‘I’m going to do everything in my power to win her back,’ Tom added,’ I love her too much not to.’

‘If you really loved her you would back off and let her move on with her life,’ Sebastian said.

‘And if you really loved her you’d give me and her a chance to work things out before you just wormed your way in there,’ Tom spoke angry.

‘I’m not backing off,’ Seb stated.

‘Neither am I,’ Tom stood his ground and looked into his eyes.

‘Then I guess we have a real fight on our hands, Thomas,’ Sebastian’s voice was cold and determined and he took a step forward to look Tom right in the eyes.

‘I guess we do,’ Tom gave him a challenging grin,’ ’May the best man win.’


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter pretty much wrote itself! I sort of figured out where I’m going with this story, if all goes to plan there will be 2 more chapters after this one. At least that is the plan, you never know ;)
> 
> You finally give into your lingering feelings for Tom, but you’re still falling for Sebastian too…
> 
> This is quite the smutty chapter. Oral, fingering, shower sex, blow job, dirty talk. And some fluff because I just can’t help it.

You felt your muscles protest every time your feet hit the muddy path, but the loud base of the music in your ears kept encouraging you to speed up. 

It had been a while since you went for a morning run, you had forgotten how intense and demanding running could be. You and Tom used to do this together but after he left you quickly submitted to your lazy nature and preferred to stay in bed.     
To replace the running you started working out in the gym once a week when you felt like it. 

So not exactly every week.

It was still early, the first glimpses of a rising sun peaking through the trees while you ran.   
You were far from the only one out here on this beautiful autumn morning, which surprised you because you had deliberately chosen one of the smaller parks, one you and Tom never went to.   
Seeing all the other runners you suddenly couldn’t shake the feeling that Tom could easily be among them.

You made a quick decision to run off the path and into the woods to hopefully avoid most of the crowd but it didn’t matter, about 10 minutes later you saw him running in front of you. 

He still wore the same black shorts and blue shirt he used to wear on your runs together, apart from that you would have recognized those skinny white legs anywhere. And that ass, especially that ass. 

You contemplated slowing down and just turning back to avoid him but then he turned his head and saw you. 

He slowed down and waited for you to run next to him. You both pulled out your ear phones at the same time.

‘Well, well, fancy running into you here,’ he smiled.

‘I should have guessed,’ you shook your head in disbelief.

‘You really should stay on the path, it’s safer,’ Tom remarked,’ lots of creeps hiding in these woods.’

‘So I see.’

He grinned at your comment and shook his head.

‘Did you put a tracker on me or something?’ you then asked, only half joking,’ How do you always know where I am?’

 

’Hey, I’ve been running in this park every morning since I got back, I haven’t seen you here before today though,’ he said,’ I didn’t know you still ran?’

‘I stopped for a while but decided to pick it up again,’ you confessed.

‘Old habits die hard, huh?’

‘Some of them,’ you looked at him and started running faster, challenging him to keep up with you, which of course he did with ease. You both ran in silence for a while.

‘I need to apologize for what happened at the bar last time,’ he then said,’ I lost my head, it shouldn’t have happened.’

‘No, it shouldn’t have.’

‘I can’t help it,’ his tone turned more serious,’ I see you with him and…I just can’t take it.’

You both slowed down your pace while you looked at each other.  
‘I’ll keep my distance from him,’ he added,’ you don’t need to worry.’

‘What about me? Will you keep your distance from me?’

He ran out in front of you and started running backwards, his face towards yours while he shook his head in a big smile,’ Not a chance.’

You watched him run away and couldn’t help but smile. 

It was just a moment of temporary weakness, caused by nostalgia and memories and the adrenaline of your run. That’s how you would explain it to yourself afterwards.   
The sweet smile on Tom’s face and the way his curly hair stuck to his sweaty forehead while he ran, how he kept his eyes on you with that charming mischievous grin. It seemed like such a small insignificant moment and yet it changed everything. 

You no longer saw the man you hated or the man who left you, right there before your eyes he turned back into the boy you fell in love with.

‘Are you going to let me win?’ Tom yelled,’ Come on!’

You started running faster to catch up with him, unable to take the smile off your face.

You knew you should tell him to go, get back on the path and continue your run alone.   But you couldn’t do it, you couldn’t bring yourself to leave his side.

***

‘This was fun, we should do this more often,’ Tom smiled while he watched you open the door to your apartment.

‘If you think I’m going to start running every day you’re so mistaken,’ you shook your head and he laughed. It was a genuine relaxed laugh and you realized how long it had been since you’d heard it.

You turned to look at him and smiled.

‘What?’ Tom asked.

‘I don’t know, you seem different somehow.’

‘It’s the running, it relaxes me and puts me in a good mood,’ he explained,’ and the company didn’t hurt either.’

He smiled and stepped closer to you while he nodded his head,’ You seem different too, less…angry.’

You smiled,’ Oh, I’m still plenty angry, don’t mistake my sudden good will for me no longer being angry with you, trust me, I still am, buddy.’ 

He chuckled and took a step closer to you.

‘But?’ he then asked, sensing a change in your emotions, while he leaned closer to look into your eyes.

‘Being angry is exhausting,’ you then confessed,’ and this morning was so wonderful, it reminded me of old times, Tom. And I guess I just wanted to dwell in it for a little while and forget about everything else. Is that so crazy?’

‘Not at all,’ he spoke softly,’ look, I can apologize to you until I’m blue in the face but that’s not what you need to hear from me, is it?’

‘Forget it,’ you sighed but he interrupted your thoughts by putting his hands on your waist and pulling you against his body. You didn’t resist.

When you looked into his eyes the last of your protest fell. He was so beautiful, his smile so gentle, his eyes so sincere. Your heart was singing, a very familiar song, one you hadn’t heard in a really long time. 

 It was him again, your Tom, the one you believed to be gone forever.

‘I’m here,’ he then whispered,’ You didn’t lose me, I’m still here.’

You grabbed his t-shirt to pull him closer and right there out of the blue your tears started to fall. Tom leaned his forehead against yours while his arms hugged you close to him.

‘It’s alright,’ he whispered,’ I’m here.’

‘I thought I’d never see you again, you ass,’ you cried,’ I thought I’d never hear from you again or touch you again.’

Your tears took over and you sobbed,’ Shit, Tom.’

You shook your head, annoyed at yourself for showing your weakness to him but unable to stop it. His words hit you right where it hurt and all the bottled emotions from these past weeks came crashing down upon you, all at once.

He put his hand in your neck and before you could ramble on his lips were on yours. His kiss was soft, gentle and comforting.   
He held back until you pulled him closer and allowed him further access to your mouth and when you did his tongue devoured yours. There was no more holding back, your whole body was surrendering to him as he pushed you up against the door of your apartment.

’Tom,’ you moaned.

‘Let me in,’ he begged and he kissed your mouth again.

‘I can’t, not like this, I’m in desperate need of a shower,’ you breathed while he kissed your neck.

‘So am I,’ his voice was a growl in your ear,’ let me in.’

There was no way you were going to refuse him, not today. His kisses had awoken your need and this was a need Sebastian couldn’t fill, this time you needed Tom.   
Every inch of your body craved him and you pulled him inside.

As soon as you were in your apartment you both started pulling at each other’s clothes, Tom grinned at your impatience.

He guided you towards the bathroom, kissing you every step of the way, losing more clothes as you went along. Once inside he turned on the shower and got rid of the last bit of clothes. 

You stepped inside first, letting the warm water wash over you, Tom joined you and you shivered when you felt his hand rest on your lower back. His touch was gentle, careful yet confident.   
He put some of the shower gel in his hands and started washing your hair. You smiled at the way he took his time, making sure he didn’t miss a single spot. When he was done with your hair his hands made their way down to soap the rest of your body. When he reached your breasts you leaned back against his chest, enjoying the delicate touch of his hands, a smile on your lips when you felt his semi hard erection against your ass.

You returned the favor and started spreading the shower gel all over his body. You turned around to meet his eyes, his look hazy and unfocussed. You knew this look well, the bedroom eyes, the way he had looked at you countless times right before he would bury himself deep inside you.  
You lowered your hand to wrap it around his cock and you stroked him slowly, his eyes fell closed and his breath hitched right before he started moaning.

He grabbed your hand and spun you around, your back towards him while he used the shower head to wash you both clean, leaving soft kisses on your neck in the process and fondling your breasts. The warmth of the water and his body against yours was putting you in a trance. You could have stayed here forever in this foamy warm bubble with him.

When all the soap was gone from your body Tom lowered the shower head between your legs. You leaned your back against his chest while he changed the setting and a firm water ray splashed all over your most sensitive spots. By that time you were already so turned on the pressure was like added torture to your senses.   
As soon as the water touched your clit your orgasm started to build. Tom continued his torture, using only the pressure of the water to bring you right to the edge and keep you there. 

You moaned his name in frustration.

With a satisfied smile he turned you until your back hit the wall, still using the shower head while he kneeled down in front of you. He lifted one of your legs over his shoulder and opened you up with his fingers.   
When he added his tongue to the mix you were done for. His fingers, tongue and the water pushed you right over the edge.   
You grabbed his hair while you climaxed, harder than you had in a long while. His arms held you up while you cried out his name.

Tom stood back up and met your eyes in a loving stare, he leaned in to kiss your lips softly. You grabbed his neck and pulled him closer while you brought your lips up to his ear.

‘I want to fuck you, slowly,’ you whispered.

You reached for his cock but he stopped you.  
  ’Not here,’ he protested,’ on the bed.’

The sheets felt cold against your naked heated skin. You smiled down to see Tom’s face between your legs, softly caressing your calves and your legs while he climbed up. 

He was taking his time, putting soft kisses on every inch of skin he passed on his way up. A few slow licks between your folds had you right back where he wanted you, breathing hard and spreading your legs further to accommodate him.

‘Yes,’ you moaned,’ please, Tom.’

He licked his way up your abdomen to catch your nipple between his teeth, his hands were pushing your knees open further and you felt the head of his cock nudging at your entrance, pushing only the tip in and then pulling back. He kept repeating this movement while he started kissing your neck. 

You wanted to scream in frustration, again.   
He knew your body like no one else, knew exactly where and how to touch you and he was using his knowledge well.

‘Tom,’ you whimpered and wrapped your arms around his neck,’ please…just…give me what I want.’

With one quick thrust he was inside of you, his deep moan music to your ears while he pushed his forehead against yours. He didn’t move, he just stayed still in the moment, staring deep into your eyes while he caressed your cheek and let you adjust to the feeling of his cock.

This was one of the things that drove you completely crazy and he knew it.

Those deep blue eyes were staring right into your soul and you could have sworn you saw tears in there. You softly stroked his hair and leaned in to kiss his lips. He kissed you back hesitantly.

‘Are you okay?’ he then whispered.

You nodded your head,’ Yes, you?’

The smile he gave you was so small and tender it pulled at all your heart strings. You needed him badly and you put your lips on his again. 

You moaned into the kiss when he started moving his hips, torturously slow at first, pulling out and pushing all the way in again, struggling with his breathing while he did. You were whimpering underneath him.   
He was completely focussed on your body and the way it reacted to his. His cheeks were flushed and his forehead sweaty.

As soon as your moans increased he started thrusting a little faster, pushing you deeper into the mattress. His heavy moans against your skin were driving you crazy. You knew you asked for slow but you didn’t think you could take much more of this. Your need for release was growing fast.

‘Tom,’ you begged him with your eyes and he read them well.

He grabbed hold of your waist and changed your position, pulling you up with him so you were straddling his lap. He put his arms around you and held you by the shoulders while he fucked you harder and held you down on his cock. 

His desperate heavy moans and the changed angle had you on the edge within seconds. He buried his face into the crook of your neck and within seconds your orgasm came crashing over you, drowning you and taking Tom down with you. 

His whimpers stopped when he came with a violent cry, clinging to your body as he released himself deep inside of you.

***

You and Tom lied in your bed for several hours after that, just holding each other without saying much. All he could muster was that it was the happiest he had felt in months and how much he loved you. 

You hadn’t been able to say it back to him, the longer you lied there the more reality came sinking in and the more you started questioning what just happened.

You didn’t regret the sex, you never regretted the sex with Tom, your body was still in heaven but your mind was starting to backtrack and he noticed it.

He asked you if you wanted him to leave, you couldn’t say the word but you nodded your head in an apologetic sigh. He accepted it without any protest.   
He put on his clothes and left you alone in your apartment, but not before taking you in his arms one last time and kissing your lips, slowly and deeply. 

You almost clung to him after that kiss but he kept you at bay, knowing you needed time alone, and he left without saying another word.

***

You were sitting in Sebastian’s kitchen that night, staring at your pizza and overthinking your day. He sat in front of you and stared at you playing with your food, a look of worry on his face.

‘If pizza can’t fix it I don’t know what will,’ he spoke softly.

You woke up from your thoughts and looked at him,’ Sorry, what?’

‘You’re a million miles away, what’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ you waved your hand and took a bite from your pizza but he moved his stool closer to yours and stared into your eyes.

‘You haven’t heard a word I said the last twenty minutes, please talk to me.’

‘I slept with Tom,’ you blurted out, the hurt look on Seb’s face made you regret it instantly,’ Shit, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that, that’s too much information.’

‘It’s okay,’ he shrugged his shoulders.

‘It’s not, I shouldn’t have said that to you.’

‘Hey,’ he stood up and took your hand,’ Come here.’

You left your seat and let him pull you towards him and into his arms. He hugged you tight, burying his face into your hair so you wouldn’t have to see the disappointment on his face.

You breathed out a sigh of relief when you felt the butterflies in your stomach.   
They were still there, being with Tom didn’t change anything, you still wanted Seb too.

You looked up into his eyes and smiled. He put a lock of hair behind your ear, his eyes soft and serious.

‘Do you want me to take a step back?’ he then asked,’ Let you figure things out with him?’

You shook your head,’ Do you want to take a step back?’

‘No,’ his answer came quick and he pulled you against his chest,’ absolutely not.’

‘I’m glad to hear it,’ you smiled,’ I don’t want to lose this, Seb, I don’t want to lose you.’

‘That’s never going to happen, baby,’ he comforted you and you just hugged each other in silence for a little while.

’You know what,’ he broke the hug to look at you, a smile on his face this time,’ I think that pizza’s cold by now, how about I take you out on a proper date?’

‘What did you have in mind?’

‘A nice restaurant with real food followed by a walk along the water, we talk and get to know each other.’

‘No sex,’ he quickly added.

You feigned shock and lifted your hand at him,’ I feel offended.’

‘It’s not that the sex isn’t amazing and I don’t want to,’ he rushed to speak,’ Believe me, I want to, I’d bang you on the kitchen counter right now to prove how badly I want you but…I want to be more than that for you.’

You smiled and bit your lip before you burst out laughing.  
‘I’m sorry,’ you covered your mouth with your hand.

‘You meant what I said about pizza not being a real food, right?’ 

‘Uh-uh,’ you nodded your head in a smile.

He shook his head and blushed but he laughed with you.

‘I mean it though,’ he then said, more seriously and he took your hand in his,’ I want to take you out, and show you off, and treat you like you deserve to be treated. Unless you’d rather not be seen with me…’

The hopeful look on his beautiful face made your heart swell.

‘Give me 15 minutes to put on something decent,’ you smiled.

***

The restaurant he took you to was one of the best in the area. You’d often walked past here but never really bothered to look at the menu as the front alone made it look way too expensive for your budget. 

It turned out you were right about that, but Sebastian didn’t seem to care, he encouraged you to order whatever you wanted, and insisted you didn’t skip dessert. 

As usual when you were with him the conversation came easily without feeling forced, even the silences were comfortable. You both talked about everything, from little things like your favorite movies to more important stuff like family and childhood.   
Sebastian told you about his parents, about his youth in Romania and how his mother brought him out here to have a better life and how lucky he felt. You noticed him struggle to keep his emotions under control when he talked about his mum for too long, which warmed your heart.   
You mostly talked about work and how you adjusted to the big city having lived in a small town with your sister and your parents all your life.

Afterwards Sebastian took you for a stroll by the water, holding your hand to keep you close to him. You found a cozy spot to sit by the river, overlooking the entire city, with millions of tiny lights surrounding you both. You didn’t often walk by here this late at night and you had forgotten how beautiful the city could be. 

Seb took off his jacket and put it across your shoulders, using the opportunity to pull you into his arms.

‘This is beautiful, Seb,’ you sighed and you didn’t hesitate to put your arms around his waist.

‘It is, you are so beautiful,’ he whispered.

You smiled and buried your face into the curve of his neck, drowning in his warmth and his cologne. You heard him breathe out deeply.

‘You okay?’ you looked up to meet his eyes.

‘Tonight was perfect,’ he spoke softly,’ everything about it was just…perfect.’

‘Then why do you look a little sad?’

‘Because,’ he smiled while he shook his head,’ I am falling for you, so hard, and I love every minute I get to spend with you. I don’t want this to end.’

You stared into his eyes, they were filled with so much love but at the same time so much uncertainty it hurt your heart.

‘It’s not going to end,’ you whispered while you pulled him closer to you and kissed his lips, deeply and passionately. He kissed you back with the same fervor, making you both come up for air after a while.

‘Take me home,’ you breathed. 

***

You stood in the elevator while it made its way up, the walk over there calmed you both down but you noticed Seb still kept his distance from you.

‘I made you a promise, okay,’ he stated,’ I’m going to walk you to your door, kiss you good night and then I’m going to leave, like a real gentleman, don’t ask me to stay tonight.’

‘Okay,’ you smiled.

‘I mean it,’ he added,’ I wanted to make a point tonight, I sort of forgot what it was right now…’

You suppressed a laugh.

‘But I’m still going to make it,’ he quickly added.

‘Okay,’ you smiled again and took a step closer to him. You tilted your head in surprise when he actually took a step back, afraid you would come too close and all his good intentions would be shattered.  
You didn’t care.

You leaned in and put your lips on his in a gentle kiss. He kissed you back softly, holding his arms and hands next to his body, not wanting to give in or touch you. But when he opened his mouth you slowly slipped your tongue in there and you heard him moan into the kiss.   
He put his hands on the barre of the elevator behind him, desperate to hold onto something that wasn’t you.

But the sudden passion with which he kissed you back contradicted his body language. He kept on kissing you for a few minutes until he pulled back and shook his head in a little smile, determined to stick to his promise.

You stepped back and stayed quiet as the elevator kept going up, when you looked at him out of the corner of your eye you noticed the huge bulge in his pants and you shook your head in a smile.

‘So how’s that no sex thing working out for you?’ you asked mischievously.  
‘Shut up.’

You couldn’t help but giggle.

‘I am the master of bad ideas,’ he admitted in a sigh followed by a smile that made you laugh even more.

You turned to face him and took a step closer, trapping him between yourself and the wall while you looked up at him and clicked the emergency break on the elevator.  
‘What are you doing?’ he asked.

You started unbuttoning his shirt slowly while you kept your eyes on his and you watched him swallow hard.   
‘Don’t worry, we’re not having sex,’ you put your mouth on his neck and started kissing softly, sucking and licking his skin.

His hands rested on the bars of the elevator as he leaned back and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of your mouth on him.

You kissed your way down to his chest, biting his nipples softly until his breath hitched, pushing his shirt open further so you could reach every spot.  Your lips reached his abdomen and you kissed your way down to his perfect six pack. 

You pulled his pants a little lower to reveal his happy trail. His body gave new meaning to the word perfect, from every muscle to every vein to every hair, you just had to touch him. 

He moaned your name when you started kissing him there and when you licked your way down the sound that left his lips was enough to convince you to take this further.  
When you grabbed his belt he reached for your neck and softly stroked your hair, he was breathing heavily.

You kneeled down in front of him and looked up into his eyes,’ Put your hand back on the bar. If you touch me again I’ll stop.’

You opened his belt to make it very clear what you wanted and he did as you told him, the look in his eyes pleading, begging you not to stop as he gripped the bar tighter.

You opened his pants and pulled them down, revealing the evidence of his arousal, ready to break free from his boxers. You looked up at him with a cheeky grin and kept your eyes on his while you gave him one long slow lick along his length, through the fabric.

‘Fuck,’ he muttered.

You pulled down his boxers and wrapped your hand around him, pumping him slowly a couple of times before you let your tongue dance across his tip, playing with him before you took him into your mouth as far as you could.

Seb’s heavy breathing had turned into uncontrollable moaning accompanied by a few swear words.   
You knew he was struggling to keep his hands off you.

You built up a rhythm, pumping his base with your hand while your mouth sank down on him, a little deeper every time until you felt him hit the back of your throat.

‘Fuck, I’m close,’ he moaned,’ I’m so close, don’t stop…oh god please don’t stop.’

He started bucking his hips, fucking your mouth, unable to hold back any longer.  When his orgasm took over his hand grabbed your hair forcefully while he gave a couple more hard thrusts.   
He came with a loud grunt and filled your mouth.   You swallowed all he had to offer you, licking every last drop of him while he gently caressed your hair and his soft whimpers filled the small space.

You pulled back and looked up at him with a satisfied grin while you stood up and unblocked the elevator,’ See, no sex.’

‘Fuck,’ he breathed,’ that was…oh my god.’

You couldn’t help but smile when you noticed he was actually shaking.  
He pulled up his pants right before the elevator doors opened. 

Before you could step out he grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him, putting his lips on yours in a kiss that took your breath away.

‘Thank you,’ he whispered.

‘The pleasure was all mine, trust me,’ you smiled.

‘Come with me to my apartment, let me return the favor.’

’I can’t do that, you made a promise, remember,’ you teased him and you both stepped out of the elevator and into the hallway.

He nodded his head in a sigh,’ why do I keep saying stuff I know I’ll regret later on?’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Sebastian,’ you smiled and put a last kiss on his lips before you walked over to your apartment and unlocked the door.

If he had asked one more time you would have gone with him willingly, oh so very willingly.

His moans had turned you on way more than you wanted to admit. You pushed your legs together while you locked your door and tried to shake it off.

When you made your way over to the couch and looked at your phone you saw you had a message on your voice mail from Tom. You let yourself fall down and took a minute before you listened to it.

‘Hey darling, it’s me, I just wanted to hear your voice…I can’t stop thinking about you after this morning, I crave you so badly, please come over, I don’t care what time it is.’

You let out a deep sigh, trying to ignore the heat between your legs but then his message continued and the sound of his voice was enough to make your cheeks flush.

‘All I can think about is fucking you again. Feeling your magnificent body underneath mine while I make you scream, please let me make you scream again. I’m in my bed alone, and my hand is not doing the trick anymore, I need you, need your mouth…I can’t…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have called, I just need you so bad…’

He hung up with a heavy sigh. 

You knew it was wrong, and you knew it couldn’t go on like this, it wasn’t fair to string both men along. You didn’t want to hurt either of them, you knew you needed to make a choice, and you needed to do it soon.

But not tonight.

You dialed his number and he answered within seconds,’ Hello?’

‘Tom? It’s me.’


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both men make it very clear they will no longer share you with anyone and it’s time you made a choice. Jealousy takes hold of Sebastian and he is determined to prove he can make you feel better than Tom ever could.

You woke up in Tom’s bed the next morning, your arm reached for him but his side was empty, the sheets still warm from his presence so you knew he couldn’t be gone long.

You blocked the sunlight with your arm while you tried to remember last night, it was a bit of a blur. One moment you were walking hand in hand with Sebastian and the next you were lying in Tom’s bed with your legs wrapped around his neck biting your lip to keep from screaming as his mouth brought you right to the edge and back.

He was so attentive, just like he’d always been in the past, always putting your needs first, making sure you enjoyed every second of being with him. And you did.

But there was also this other thing. The guilt. You hadn’t felt it before, but this morning it was overwhelming you.  
You just left Sebastian on his own after he had given you a perfect night. How did that happen? It was cruel and he didn’t deserve it. 

You didn’t deserve him, not by a mile. What excuse could you have for leaving him to spend the night with Tom? 

Because the sex was better? Because you loved Tom more? Was that it? You couldn’t answer that question, it was impossible to compare a love so new to a love you’d known for ages.

All you knew is when Tom called the night before you needed to see him, and you wanted to feel again what he made you feel that morning. You were very aware he still had so much to make up to you, but he was, one kiss and one orgasm at a time. 

The real question remained though: could you really forgive him? Or were you just holding onto feelings of the past? 

Tom strolled into the bedroom wearing nothing but his boxers, when he noticed you were awake he crawled back into bed with you.

‘Good morning, darling,’ the smile on his face was almost too sweet for words. You averted your eyes.

‘Good morning.’

His hands were on your waist, pulling you closer to him until your head fell onto his shoulder.  
‘You made me the happiest man in the world last night, do you know that?’ he spoke softly, kissing your forehead,’ I love you so much.’

You didn’t answer him but pulled his body close to yours. You closed your eyes and let your hand dance across his chest, his skin felt cold under your fingers. 

He laid in silence with you for a while, softly stroking your hair and your back, his warm breath comforting against your forehead, helping you relax.  You were almost ready to doze off again when his voice brought you back to reality,’ I need you to stop seeing him.’

‘What?’

‘I need you to stop seeing him,’ he repeated,’ If you’re mine you’re mine alone, I can not share you with anyone.’

You pulled from his arms to sit up in the bed, pulling up the sheet to cover yourself while you looked at him,’ Who says I’m yours?’

‘I thought…’

‘We had sex,’ you interrupted him,’ it doesn’t mean that…’

‘That was not just sex, not to me,’ he shook his head and took your hand, making you weak again,’ I thought this meant you’d let me back in.’ 

You could hear the disappointment in his voice.  
‘I thought it meant we could start over,’ he added.

‘We can’t start over if I can’t forgive you,’ you spoke honestly,’ and I don’t know if I ever will.’

‘What more can I do?’ he shook his head and whispered your name in a frustrated sigh.

‘Nothing, there’s nothing you can do,’ you turned away from him and stepped out of the bed,’ This isn’t right, we shouldn’t be doing this.’

‘Don’t go,’ he begged.

‘I can’t stay,’ you grabbed your dress from the floor and quickly put it on,’ we both know what happens if I stay, we’ll just have sex again and we’ll be right back where we are now. It’s not fair to you, it’s not fair to anyone.’

You put on your shoes and turned to look at him again, he was just staring out in front of him, a defeated look on his face.

‘I need to not see you for a while, please respect that,’ you spoke softly but firmly and you waited until he looked you in the eyes and nodded his head.

‘Whatever you need,’ he sighed.

***

It was a few days later before you saw any of the men again. You were struggling with grocery bags, your purse and an umbrella on your arm. Just as you were about to make it out of the elevator one of the paper bags ripped in half and the entire content hit the floor.

‘Oh come on!’ you sighed in anger and tried to grab some of the stuff that was on the floor but when you leaned down the other bag suddenly fell from your arms too.  
You let out an angry grunt. This was just typical, as if you needed to see anything else other than your life fall apart.

When you looked up he was right in front of you, bending through his knees to help you pick up some of the items on the floor. He didn’t look at you, you on the other hand couldn’t stop looking at him.

His dark hair was messy, there was a few days old stubble on his gorgeous face, the black t-shirt he wore made his shoulders look even bigger, but your eyes lingered on his mouth.

‘Thanks, Seb,’ you muttered.

‘Why don’t you open your door and carry this stuff inside while I pick up the rest?’ he looked into your eyes briefly while he handed you some of your groceries. You could only nod your head and do as he told you.

He joined you in your apartment afterwards, helping you to put everything into the fridge, neither of you spoke.

‘Thank you, Sebastian’ you managed once you found your voice again.

‘Don’t mention it,’ his voice was soft, almost a sigh. He had been avoiding your eyes as soon as he walked in and now he was making his way back to the door, almost rushing to get away from you.

‘You don’t have to…go,’ you spoke quietly.

‘I thought you wanted to avoid me,’ he then said, looking up at you,’ you haven’t come to see me in almost a week now.’

‘I just…I don’t want to hurt you,’ you confessed,’ after last time I…you don’t need this, Seb, you deserve someone with less baggage, less drama, you don’t want me.’

You tried to smile but you were close to tears and he noticed it.

‘I think that’s up to me to decide, don’t you think?’ he walked closer to you and looked into your eyes.

You wanted him to put his arms around you but he just stood there, looking at you.  
‘Are you back together with him?’ he asked.

‘No.’

‘Do you want to be?’

His question surprised you and you shook your head,’ I don’t know, Seb, I really don’t.’

The look in his eyes shook you, it was jealousy but it was more than that, there was a determination you hadn’t seen on him before.  
‘Do you still want me?’ he then asked, the tone in his voice and the look in his eyes making you shiver.

‘Yes,’ you answered without any hesitation.

He took a step closer, putting himself right in front of you, you could feel his breath on your face.  
‘So, is he better than me?’ his eyes were suddenly clouded with a darkness you hadn’t seen on him before,’ do you enjoy his touch more than you do mine?’

You couldn’t form any words, he wasn’t touching you with anything other than his eyes and yet you had goosebumps all over.

‘Don’t do this, Seb, please, don’t be that guy,’ you pleaded but he leaned his face closer and brought his lips to your ear.  
‘Does he make you cum harder than I can?’ his deep whisper made you weak in the knees but you didn’t answer him.

‘Take off your shirt,’ he asked.

You didn’t hesitate, you had no choice, all you could focus on, all you wanted to focus on was his eyes and his voice. And you would have done anything that voice asked you to.  
Your shirt fell on the floor within seconds.

‘The bra too, please,’ he added.

You obliged, leaving your upper body completely naked. He took his time to just look at you without touching you, your breath was already quickening and he hadn’t laid a finger on you yet. 

As soon as he did you shivered, a little smile on his lips at your immediate reaction to his touch.

His fingers danced across your abdomen, making their way up to gently touch your breasts, his thumbs paying extra attention to your nipples. You couldn’t help but moan.  
‘Shhh,’ he whispered. 

He leaned forward and took your nipple between his lips, kissing it softly before darting out his tongue to play with it. Your breath was heavy and you gripped his hair but he stopped.

‘Hands on the counter,’ he ordered,’ you don’t get to touch me this time, doll.’

You gripped the cold marble of the kitchen counter behind you, he rewarded you quickly by continuing his kisses on your breast, softly fondling the other one with his hand. He sucked your nipple between his lips and grazed his teeth along your skin before biting it softly. 

You were so turned on you wouldn’t have been surprised if he managed to let you cum just by doing this over and over. 

His lips traveled higher, up to your neck where he kissed you right between your shoulder and the crook of your neck. It was a weak spot and he was very much aware of it.  
You moaned when he sucked your skin, your knuckles white as you held onto the kitchen counter, relieved for the support because your knees were about to give.  
He brought his lips to your ear, his warm breath giving you goosebumps and he pressed himself up against you, making you feel his growing bulge.

‘Take off your jeans,’ he whispered and he stepped back to give you room to undress,’ the panties too.’

He licked his lips when you stood naked before him, his eyes taking you in from top to bottom before he leaned in and kissed your lips, slowly, taking just what he needed and leaving you wanting more.

‘I need you,’ you whispered.

‘Oh, I will make sure you need me,’ he pushed you back against the kitchen counter and kissed your neck again. His warm mouth and tongue on your skin was driving you crazy, you wanted that mouth all over your body and one place in particular.

You took his hand and guided him between your legs,’ Please touch me.’

‘What’s wrong?’ he asked with a little grin,’ Are you wet already?’

‘Yes,’ you moaned when his fingers grazed the inside of your thighs.

‘Is this what you want?’ he teased.

‘Yes,’ your voice was a desperate cry.

His fingers travelled up your thigh, almost reaching your folds but not quite yet.

‘Please, Seb,’ you whimpered.

’Tell me exactly what you want, doll.’

This was no longer a man who was plagued by jealousy or insecurity, this was the man who fucked you against your front door on that first night.  Full of confidence, teasing and pushing, bringing you so close to the edge you had no choice but to beg for it.

‘Tell me,’ he growled into your ear,’ say the words and I’ll give it to you.’

‘I need your fingers between my legs,’ you whispered and you breathed a heavy sigh when he immediately gave you what you asked for. 

His fingers caressed your folds and spread your wetness all over them, stopping at your clit to slow down his movement and tease you some more.

‘You are fucking soaked,’ he chuckled and continued to play with your sensitive spot until you were rubbing yourself up against his hand, desperate for more friction.  
‘Seb,’ you moaned.

‘Ask for what you want,’ he breathed into your ear but you were whimpering so hard you couldn’t form any words.

His one hand was on your waist and he pushed you up against the counter, kissing your neck again. He moved his other hand and you cried out at the loss of contact with his fingers between your legs.  
‘Don’t stop,’ you whined.

‘I need you to speak the words, baby, tell me what you want me to do.’

‘I need your mouth,’ you moaned, giving into your last inhibitions,’ I need your tongue on my clit, I need you to taste me, and don’t stop until I cum.’

He gave you a cheeky grin, clearly satisfied with your answer. He was on his knees within seconds, lifting one of your legs over his shoulders. He wasted no more time giving you what you needed and you almost screamed when his warm tongue lapped at your clit, alternating his speed and movements, kissing and sucking until you couldn’t take anymore. 

You grabbed his hair but he pushed your hands back while he held you down and devoured you. It was almost too much for your senses to take, you moaned his name over and over until you came, hard. 

Your legs failed to keep you standing but he grabbed your waist and put you down on the kitchen counter while he continued to lick your juices from you, letting you come down from your high.

‘Fuck’, you muttered,’ oh fuck…Seb.’

You gently grabbed his hair and he let you this time while he stood up and caught your lips in a hard kiss. You pulled him close to deepen the kiss, locking your legs around his waist. His hardness right there pushing between your legs, you rolled your hips against him until he moaned into the kiss.

Your hand quickly took care of his pants, pulling them down over his ass together with his boxers. He whimpered when you wrapped your hand around his cock and let the head sink right into your wetness.

‘Not so fast,’ he moaned but he was still bucking his hips against you, his physical need betraying him.

‘I need you to fuck me, now,’ you whispered into his ear and bit the skin of his neck,’ I can’t wait any longer, Seb.’

He lifted you from the counter and spun you around, your back against him.

‘Spread your legs,’ his deep voice was right against your ear. 

You did as he told you and reached behind you to grab his cock. He stopped you and pulled your body up against his, your back against his chest.

‘Not yet,’ he teased with a smile and you felt his fingers on your stomach, sinking down between your legs to play with your clit again. 

His other hand on your neck to hold your face against his while he breathed heavily into your ear,‘ Do you want me inside of you?’

‘Yes,’ you begged.

He spread you with his fingers and you moaned when he sank two fingers deep inside of you, curling them until he found the exact spot that was aching for his touch.

‘Like this?’ he moaned into your ear.

‘Yes, fuck yes.’

He brought you on the verge of another orgasm, when you were about ready to burst he let go of your upper body, allowing you to lean forward on the kitchen counter. He teased you a little while longer before he pulled out his fingers and replaced them with the tip of his cock.

He put his hand on your lower back to push you down on he cold kitchen marble before he sank himself deep inside of you. He started bucking his hips, slowly, finding the right angle before he increased his speed. He grabbed your hips to have a better hold on you and when he started thrusting faster you knew you were done for. 

You could feel it build from deep inside and you knew this time he wouldn’t stop until you got what you needed.  
When he pulled you up again to hold your body against his you were already falling apart, your orgasm traveling through you at full speed.   
His hand grabbed your neck to hold you close to him.

‘Seb,’ you moaned as your legs started to shake,’ I’m…’

‘Cum with me, cum with me now, baby,’ his deep moan was enough to push you over completely.  

You were seeing stars, your walls clenched around his cock and it didn’t seem to stop, he fucked you through your orgasm, holding you right there in the midst of your bliss while you screamed out your pleasure.

A few more thrust and grunts later he emptied himself inside of you and collapsed against your body. 

You were out of breath, completely flushed and unable to form any coherent words. You leaned your head back on his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around your waist to hold you close.

‘Seb,’ was all you managed to whisper while your hands reached for his neck and you turned around to face him.

He had his eyes closed while he tried to control his breathing, his arms had a firm hold on you, not planning on letting you go anytime soon. You let your fingers run through his hair and into his neck and you kissed his lips softly. 

He opened his eyes to look at you and you were taken aback by the softness in them, and even more so by the insecurity you found in there. So very different from the man you just saw a few minutes ago.

‘I don’t want anyone else doing that to you but me,’ he then whispered,’ I want you, and I don’t want to share, I can’t…’

You could hear the emotions overtake his voice and he swallowed his words and just whispered your name.

‘Don’t go back to him,’ he then begged and pulled you into a tight hug, making your heart melt. You clung to him and fought the tears in your eyes.

You didn’t say anything but just nodded your head while you hugged him back.

‘I should go,’ he said after a few minutes.

‘You’re leaving?’ you asked, unable to hide the disappointment in your voice.

‘I think it’s for the best,’ he said, pulling away from you to pull up his pants and straighten his shirt. 

‘You’re probably right,’ you admitted and you rushed to grab your t-shirt from the floor and put it on, suddenly feeling way too naked in front of him.

Sebastian sighed and took your hand,’ If I stay…every minute I stay with you I fall a little harder. I don’t want to make this more difficult than it has to be, for both of us.’  
You nodded your head. When he kissed your forehead again you had to stop yourself from putting your arms around him and keeping him close.

‘I’ll see you later,’ he stepped away from you.

‘I want to chose you, Seb.’

Your words stopped him in his tracks and he turned around to look you in the eye.  
‘I want to chose you,’ you repeated,’ but I don’t know how to let him go.’

He nodded his head, thankful for your honesty and relieved to hear your words.  
‘You need to forgive him,’ he then spoke softly.

‘Forgive him?’ you asked surprised,’ since when are you on team Tom?’

He smiled and shook his head,’ I don’t mean it like that. I mean…your anger is preventing you from letting him go. The opposite of love is not hate it’s indifference and you are anything but indifferent to him, are you?’

You nodded your head.

’As long as you hold onto that he still has a chance with you and he knows it,’ he added.

You stayed quiet, letting his words sink in.

‘If you really want to let him go you need to forgive him, and make amends, otherwise you’ll never be over him,’ he continued,’ as long as you don’t make that choice you’ll be stuck in the past with him. And I can’t wait around forever for you to figure that out.’

‘But…if I can forgive him, if I can actually make that choice to truly forgive him for everything…why wouldn’t I just take him back then?’

He nodded his head and gave you a little insecure smile,’ that’s the question, isn’t it?’

You stayed quiet.

‘I don’t know the answer to that one, you do,’ he then said and before you found your words he was gone and the door of your apartment closed before your eyes.

***

Sebastian’t words kept running though your head that night making it difficult to sleep.   
He was right, you were still holding onto your love for Tom and the history you two had. No matter how angry you felt at him, deep down you still loved him, unquestionably. He knew you like no other and part of your heart still belonged to him. But things had changed between you two, was love enough when the trust had been shattered?

Apart from your feelings for Tom, you were completely in love with Sebastian, there was no longer any denying that. You thought about him more often every day and you missed his touch when you hadn’t seen him for a few days. It was new and exciting, but also scary, what if you and him weren’t a good fit in the long run? How well did you actually know him? 

You kept going back and forth, you could easily see a future with either of them. But you could also see it both go horribly wrong.   
This wasn’t a decision your head could make, it was up to your heart and she was a fickle bitch.

You were in the basement of the apartment doing your laundry a few days later when Tom found you.

‘Hey.’  
His voice echoing through the empty room startled you and you jumped.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,’ he apologized.

‘It’s fine, I just haven’t seen anyone else down here for a while,’ you smiled,’ most people have washing machines in their apartment now.’

He leaned against the frame of the door and smiled at you without saying anything.  
‘So, where’s your laundry?’ you asked.

‘I don’t have any, I was looking for you and saw you step into the elevator so I followed.’

‘You were looking for me?’

He stepped out of the doorway and moved closer to you,’ Can we talk? Is that okay or do you not want to see me?’

‘It depends on what you want to talk about, nothing’s changed, Tom.’

‘Well, something has,’ he sighed,’ I’m leaving town.’

You stopped folding your clothes to look at him,’ leaving?’

‘I’ve got a job offer that will put me in London for a few months,’ he explained.

‘Oh…’

‘It’s theatre work, which I’ve been wanting to do for a very long time, working with a great director…’

‘I don’t want to hear it, Tom,’ you picked up your clothes and back away from him.  
‘I want you to come,’ he then blurted out.

You stopped moving and stared at him.

‘I want you to come to London with me,’ he repeated,’ I know you can take the time off work if you want, it would be a great opportunity for us to connect again, let me show you my home town, you will love it.’

‘I can’t just leave everything here.’

‘Why not? It’s just for a little while.’

‘But I can’t just leave h…,’ you swallowed your last word and bit your lip.

‘Him? You mean you can’t just leave him, is that it?’ the look in his eyes darkened and he took a few steps forward until he was right in front of you, staring at you with those intense blue eyes.

His hand gently grabbed your waist and he leaned closer, his voice now softer,’ Please come with me.’

‘Tom, I can’t…’

Before you could speak the words his lips were on yours, kissing you desperately. You kissed him back and he pushed you up against the washing machine with his entire body.   
His lips found your neck, putting sloppy wet kisses all over your skin. Your eyes fell closed for a few seconds, enjoying the feel of his mouth on you but you knew you couldn’t let this happen.

‘Tom, don’t, please,’ you pushed him back and he stopped kissing you immediately, a look of shock and disappointment on his face. His hands were still on your waist.

‘I can’t,’ you avoided his eyes and shook your head,’ I’m sorry, I…I need time to think.’

He nodded his head,’ If you want me to stay then I’ll stay, I’ll do anything you want. A job is just a job, you are more important.’

Your heart cringed at his words and the loving look he gave you and you leaned your face against his, pulling him closer to you.

‘I don’t need you to stay,’ you whispered,’ I don’t want you to stay, this is an opportunity you’ve wanted for a long time. Going to London is not the issue here, I would love to visit London.’

‘Just not with me,’ he added.

‘That’s not what I said,’ you sighed.

‘Look, this is my offer,’ he then spoke seriously and he leaned back to look into your eyes,’ this is all I have left, darling. I love you more than anything else in this world but I can’t keep fighting like this.’

He let out a heavy sigh and you could see the inner struggle on his face.

‘I’m leaving next week,’ he continued,’ and I really want you there with me at the airport, I need you there. I need us to try again and I won’t mess it up this time, I promise you, I will give you everything you deserve and more.’

He let go of you and stepped back.

‘But it’s your decision,’ he stared at you for a while before he left the room, leaving you alone with the hardest choice you would ever have to make…


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it, guys, the last chapter! 
> 
> I’ve been getting some request to write two different endings for this fic (and I’m not saying I wouldn’t be open to doing that later), but for now this is the ending I had in mind since the start.   
> She is going to make a choice and it won’t make everyone happy, I apologize in advance to one team, but I hope you still enjoy the ending I’ve written even if your guy isn’t the one that gets the girl.
> 
> This fic has been a crazy ride and I enjoyed it so much, I might have to write more stories using both Seb and Tom, we’ll see what inspires me next ;)
> 
> Thank you to everyone who encouraged me and supported me throughout this story, you’re all amazing and I can’t say this enough, I don’t always take time to answer every comment personally but please know my heart jumps out of my chest with every single one of them, I’m a very lucky writer :)
> 
> I was going for no sex in this chapter but well, that didn’t work out so well lol. Also feels, fluff, and more feels.
> 
> Let’s do this!

10 days. 

You had exactly 10 days to decide what you were going to do, step on the plane to London with Tom or stay here with Sebastian.

You were sitting behind your desk at work, trying to focus on the papers in front of you but your mind wasn’t here. You’d been staring at the pictures on your phone for over half an hour now.  
 You kept flipping them back and forth. 

Tom. Sebastian. Tom. Sebastian.

Tom’s messy blond curls or Sebastian’s thick dark locks. Tom’s soft light blue eyes that were staring back at you with so much kindness, or Sebastian’s big blue mischievous eyes with that loving twinkle.

You let out a heavy sigh and leaned back in your chair.

‘Who are they?’

The voice behind you made you jump and you smiled in relief when you noticed it was just Lisa,’ Shit, you scared me.’

‘I haven’t seen you type in over an hour and you just keep staring at your phone, what’s up?

You turned off your phone,’ I can’t seem to focus today.’

‘This is the dilemma you were talking about? Two guys?’

‘Yeah,’ you sighed.

‘Show me,’ she leaned closer and looked at you with a big smile on her face.  
You unlocked your screen and showed her a picture of Sebastian.

‘Oh my god, he is gorgeous,’ she stared at your phone,’ look at those cheek bones, I could cut myself! And those pouty lips, I don’t even know him and I want to kiss those.’  
You couldn’t help but smile.

‘I bet he’s an amazing kisser,’ she added.

‘He is,’ you sighed and you scrolled to the next picture, one of Tom.

‘This is guy number two?’

You nodded your head.

‘He is stunning,’ she swooned,’ his eyes are so kind, he is an old soul, isn’t he? And my god look at that sexy smile, tell me his voice is as sexy as that smile.’

‘It is,’ you admitted.

‘So tell me again how this is a problem, because it looks to me like there’s no wrong choice here, who ever you pick you win, like the biggest jackpot ever. Honey, we should all have your problems!’

She laughed and you shook your head,’ It’s not that simple.’

‘I know, I was joking, seriously, I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes, that is a tough choice, how do you even chose between that?’

‘I don’t know,’ you let out a desperate sigh and shook your shoulders.

‘You have my sympathy, oh and whichever one you don’t chose, please send him over to me, I will do my utter best to comfort him and make him feel better. He’ll forget all about you in no time.’

She winked and let out a little chuckle before she left, leaving you alone to stare at your phone again.

Good question. How did you choose between that? 

You still had no idea, you had asked both men to keep their distance so you could focus on making a decision and not be influenced by their attempts to win your affection, but so far it hadn’t helped you at all.

You were almost thankful for the distraction when the phone on your desk rang, you quickly answered it.

‘Hey, beautiful,’ you recognized his deep voice immediately.

‘Seb, why are you calling me at work?’

‘I just wanted to hear your voice.’

‘I thought we agreed we wouldn’t see each other until I made up my mind?’

‘We didn’t say anything about talking on the phone, did we?’

‘No, we didn’t,’ you sighed,’ I should have been more specific.’

‘What? I can’t let you know how much I miss you?’ his voice was so soft and sweet you didn’t have it in your heart to be angry with him.

‘I miss you too,’ you confessed.

‘You do?’

‘Of course I do, you know that,’ you put the phone closer to your ear to hear him better over all the chatter in the office,’ I just don’t think this is helping me right now.’

‘Look, I know what I said but…’ he took a deep sigh,’ if you’re choosing him…’

‘I haven’t made my choice yet, Seb,’ you interrupted him.

‘If you’re choosing him,’ he repeated and you were taken aback by how close his voice sounded in your ears,’ I can’t stand the thought of never being with you again, never touch you or kiss you again, it’s driving me insane.’

You stayed quiet and closed your eyes for a few seconds,’ Sebastian…’

‘If I am to lose you next week I need one more night with you, please,’ he asked,’ I need you, baby, so bad, please let me fuck you one last time.’

You bit your lip, his offer sounded so tempting and your body was more than ready to take him up on it, but you knew that would make it all the harder for you to decide.

‘Please think about it,’ his deep voice was begging you,’ I’ll wait for you tonight.’

‘I can’t, Seb,’ you answered in a sigh,’ please don’t call me again.’

And with those words you hung up without giving him another chance to try to convince you.  
You put down your phone and hung your head in a sigh.

‘I’m sorry to interrupt, darling?’

Your head was up in a second when you recognized his voice,‘ Tom? What are you doing here?’

‘I thought…maybe I could buy you lunch, if you’ll let me?’

‘Oh for god’s sake, is the concept of not seeing each other really so hard to grasp?’ your voice sounded angry, part of that anger should be aimed at Seb but because he wasn’t here Tom was getting all of it.

‘It’s just lunch,’ he quickly added on seeing your reaction, giving you that little apologetic smile he did so well,’ no expectations.’

‘I can’t make up my mind if you’re pushing me all the time!’ you snapped and you stood up from your desk while you grabbed your coat.

‘But…’

‘Leave me alone, I need to think and I can’t do it with you both breathing down my neck constantly! Maybe I should just dump you both and see how you like that!’

You rushed past him and into the elevator. You let out a breath of relief when the doors closed and Tom hadn’t followed you.

‘You’re not really going to dump them both, are you?’ Lisa looked at you with a smile.

You’d been so angry you didn’t even see her standing there.

‘No,’ you confessed,’ I just…need some space.’

‘I am leaving for Chicago for one week tonight, my apartment is empty and could use a house sitter,’ she suggested,’ if you’re interested?’

‘Are you serious?’

She nodded her head,’ There’s plenty of room and peace and quiet to help you think, and I’d be glad to have someone watch the place for me.’

‘Oh god, yes, you’re a life saver.’

‘Just remember me when you dump one of them,’ she gave you another wink.

***

You packed a bag that night and rushed to get out of your apartment, much to your surprise you managed it without running into anyone.   
Lisa’s apartment was a welcome safe haven, nobody knew you were here so there were no unexpected visits or interruptions. It was the best plan you could think of, just not see either of them for a while and see which one you missed the most. 

It felt like a huge mission impossible for the first few days, both men kept running through your mind day and night and you didn’t think you’d ever manage to make a decision. 

But as the week went on little by little things were starting to change. 

When you laid in Lisa’s bed alone late at night there was only one name you wanted to type into your phone, just to hear his voice and talk about your day. You started to think about his laugh and how you missed it, not to mention the feel of his hands on you.

It wasn’t that you suddenly didn’t think about that other name anymore, but you longed for him more, craved his touch and his kisses more than anyone else’s.

 And suddenly your mission didn’t seem so impossible anymore.

You wanted to call him but you also wanted to hold off, you didn’t want to do anything that would influence your choice and you wanted to be sure.   
You needed to be sure.

Despite your feelings you kept your promise not to contact Tom nor Sebastian and both men seemed to respect that decision. 

Until that day, the 9th day, the night before Tom had to leave for London…

You’d been struggling to stay asleep for a couple of hours when you noticed the missed call on your phone, and the message in your inbox, from Sebastian.  
You hesitated but couldn’t stop yourself from listening to anyway.

‘Hey, beautiful, I’m so sorry to disturb you this late, I know I shouldn’t call, I mean I promised I wouldn’t call you but…’

He was rambling on and you knew he was either nervous or slightly drunk.

‘I ran into dumbass in the elevator today,’ he continued,’ I mean Tom, and he told me he was leaving for London tomorrow, with you, can you believe that? That smug son of a bitch just assumes you’re going with him. I wanted to punch him in his fucking face! I didn’t, by the way.’

You couldn’t help but smile.

‘I’m sorry, I’m rambling on, you should just ignore this message, I shouldn’t have called you, I am not drunk.’

He was definitely drunk.

‘I’m just in my bed alone and it suddenly struck me that you’ve never slept in my bed before. I mean, you’ve stayed the night several times but you’ve never just laid here with me.’

His voice suddenly sounded softer and without realizing it your eyes filled up with tears.

‘I’d give anything to just have you in my arms right now,’ he let out a deep sigh,’ I miss you so much, god, I’m pathetic, and drunk, I’m sorry, I should hang up.’

He stayed quiet for a while but he didn’t hang up.

‘Please don’t leave me,’ he then pleaded,’ Please don’t go with him…fuck, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…I’ll be at the bar tomorrow night, waiting for you. I’ll always wait for you, baby. I’m sorry I called, I don’t want to upset you. I’m sorry.’

This time he hung up, leaving you sobbing on your pillow.

It was about an hour later, when you had finally stopped crying, when you got another call, Tom this time. You let it go straight to voicemail and waited a little while before you listened to it, not sure how much your heart could handle tonight.

‘Hey, darling, I know you said no calls but…I just wanted to hear your voice tonight, just thinking I might not hear it again after today is just…too much for me to think about.’

His voice sounded just as emotional as Sebastian’s, though he clearly hadn’t been drinking.

‘I’m not sure why I’m calling, or what I would even say to you. I’ve said everything I can possibly say, to show you…I love you so much, my darling.’

And you were crying again.

‘I know you have doubts, I understand, but I want you to know that there’s not a single doubt in my mind. I know we’re meant to be together. And I look forward to taking you to London, showing you my home, my family, things I should have done a long time ago.’

He stayed quiet for a while, you couldn’t be sure but you suspected he was crying too.

His voice was shaking when he spoke your name,’ I’ve neglected you and I will never forgive myself for that, I don’t blame you for running off with him, it was all my fault…but I need you to come back to me now, you hear me?’

You heard him bite back a sob and your heart sank while he continued talking,’ I need you in my life, I need you…’

He hung up before he lost control of his voice. 

You stared at your phone, shaking while tears fell from your eyes. You just wanted to hug them both, tell them that whatever happened it would be alright and you loved them.

But you could only truly love one of them.

You fell asleep crying, knowing what you would have to do tomorrow, knowing whose heart you would have to break and how it was going to kill you.

***

Your nerves increased with every step you took, knowing he was waiting for you, his future laying in your hands. 

You moved through the crowd as if they weren’t there, all you could focus on was getting to him as soon as you possibly could.

Your heart stopped when you saw him standing in line with his suitcase, his head sticking out above the others as usual, wearing his blue shirt and black trousers. He kept looking behind him nervously, waiting to see if you’d be there, panic in his eyes at the idea that you wouldn’t come.

When he noticed you his face changed from anxious to happy and relieved. The sudden big smile on his face was almost too much for you to take. 

He was right in front of you within seconds, leaving his suitcase behind and wrapping his arms around you. He whispered your name in a heavy sigh of relief. You disappeared into his hug, clinging to his shoulders, hiding your face into the crook of his neck, breathing him in while you urged your heart to calm down.

’You’re here,’ he breathed out and you heard him smile in your ear,’ you’re here.’

‘I am,’ you smiled,’ but…’

You broke the hug to look at him and before you even said another word the look in your eyes told him everything he needed to know and his smile faded.

‘You don’t have any luggage,’ he remarked.

‘I don’t,’ you spoke softly, still holding onto him, as if that would make this hurt any less,’ I’m not going with you, Tom.’

Your words were like a knife to his heart and he shook his head in confusion,  
’You’re choosing him?’

‘This has nothing to do with him, this is about us,’ you said.

He just stared at you, still struggling to understand what you meant and you noticed the tears in his eyes.

‘You’re still angry with me,’ he shook his head.

‘No, I’m not angry with you, I forgive you,’ your voice was calm and you were trying your best not to cry with him,’ and I love you.’

Tears were starting to form in your eyes while you spoke,’ I will always love you, Tom, you were my everything, my first real love, I’m never going to get over that. But…I don’t think we have a future together.’

‘How can you say that?’ his hands sank down to your waist, pulling you closer to him and you let him.

‘Because you don’t make me happy anymore,’ you watched him cringe at those words but you knew there was no way around it. It was time for the truth now, no more dancing around it.

’We don’t make each other happy anymore, Tom,’ you continued,’ And I know you know that, in fact you realized it way before I did, it’s the reason you left.’

‘The reason I left is because I was a complete idiot!’

‘But you’re not,’ you shook your head in a little smile,’ you’re the smartest man I know.’

He was shaking his head, unwilling to accept what you were telling him,’ I made a mistake, it was a mistake.’

‘I don’t think it was. We hadn’t been right for a while, we were just holding onto the past thinking we could fix it but there’s no fixing this. I need to let you go.’

He shook his head in protest but he stayed quiet.

‘I need you to let me go,’ you added.

’But…I love you,’ he whispered and you watched the tears fall from his cheek.

You nodded your head and wrapped your arms around his neck, giving into your own tears while you hugged him.  
‘I love you too,’ you sobbed.

You both just stood there holding onto each other, you kept hugging him until he was the one that pulled back.

‘But you’re in love with him?’ he then asked.

‘I am,’ you confessed,’ but this is not about him. Even if there was no Sebastian we would still be over. It wouldn’t change anything between us.’

He nodded his head.

‘I don’t want to lose you, Tom, you’ve been my best friend for so long, I still want you in my life.’

‘I don’t know if I can make that work,’ he sighed.

‘I understand,’ your tears fell and he caught them with his hand, softly rubbing your cheek with his thumb while he gave you a weak smile.

‘It’s okay, I understand if you need time,’ you added,’ and I understand if it’s too much to ask.’

‘But I will try,’ he then spoke softly,’ I don’t want to lose you either.’

He leaned his face closer to yours and your lips met in a soft kiss. You both knew it was a goodbye kiss and you gave into it, kissing him back with all the love you had left for him.   
You held him close to you even after you stopped kissing his lips, letting your fingers run through his hair while you continued to kiss the tears from his cheek.

When the passengers for his flight were asked to board he let go of you.

‘I have to go,’ he whispered.

‘Yeah,’ you sighed and wiped the remaining tears from your eyes while you stepped back from him.

Tom stared at you and grabbed your hand,’ I hope he knows how lucky he is.’

‘I think he does,’ you smiled and you walked with him as far as they would allow you,’ Will you let me know how the play turns out?’

‘I will,’ he let go of your hand and let out a heavy sigh while he took his suitcase and got back in line,’ will you wait with me until I’m on the plane?’

‘I have somewhere to be, I’m sorry,’ you shook your head but he gave you an understanding smile,’ Goodbye, Tom, have a safe flight.’

‘I’ll text you when I land,’ he kissed your cheek and whispered in your ear,’ if he hurts you I’ll kill him, that’s a promise.’

You smiled.

‘Please don’t be a stranger,’ you hugged him one last time before you turned around and started walking away from him. 

He kept his eyes on you until you were out of sight, letting his tears fall freely now you were no longer watching.

***

It was almost midnight by the time you got to the bar, you had tried calling Sebastian but your calls went straight to voicemail every time you did. 

You found him in a booth close to the dance floor, sitting by himself and staring into his drink with the saddest look on his face. His hands were nervously fumbling with his bottle of beer before he took a long sip and wiped the tears from his eyes.

Your heart was breaking and swelling up at the same time.

It was him, he was the one you wanted all along and you suddenly couldn’t remember why it had been such a hard choice to begin with.

You walked up to his table,’ Seb?’

He stared at you in shock as you sat down next to him.

‘You’re here?’ his voice was shaking.

‘It would seem so,’ you smiled.

He looked at you and noticed your teary red eyes.

‘You’ve been crying,’ his voice sounded worried and you shivered when he put his hand on your lower back.

‘I have,’ you said,’ but I’m done now.’

You grabbed his shirt and gave him a loving smile while you looked into his eyes, they were equally red and teary as yours.  
‘You’ve been crying too?’ you whispered.

‘I thought I lost you,’ he sighed and he closed his eyes and leaned his face against yours.   You couldn’t wait any longer, you cupped his face with your hands and put your lips on his in a soft kiss. Your heart was pounding in your chest as soon as he reciprocated, grabbing your neck to deepen the kiss, his tongue battling with yours until you were both out of breath. 

The butterflies in your stomach left no doubt in your heart you made the right choice. His arms pulled you in a tight embrace, engulfing you in his warmth and you buried your face against his neck, letting out a sigh of relief.

‘Hey,’ he whispered while he looked into your eyes and put a lock of hair behind your ear.

‘Hey you, I’m sorry I made you worry, I tried to call you earlier.’

‘My battery’s dead, I thought I was looking forward to a night filled with angry drinking and self loathing and just trying to keep my mind off the image of you sitting next to him on the plane.’

You bit your lip and pulled him close to you.

‘I was so sure you’d leave me,’ he sighed,’ that you saw me as nothing but a rebound guy, a distraction to keep yourself busy until you could run back into his arms.’

‘Have some faith, Sebby,’ you smiled at him and put a soft kiss on his lips.

‘You were right,’ you then said,’ I needed to forgive him and I did, and I can answer my question now.’

‘What question?’

‘The question was if I can truly forgive him why wouldn’t I take him back,’ you said.

‘So, why didn’t you?’

‘Because I’m in love with you, Sebastian,’ you confessed,’ crazy, madly, deeply in love with you.’

The happy look on his face made you laugh.

‘You are?’ he asked with a shy smile and he started to blush.

You nodded your head,’ Very much so, and I’ve missed you like crazy this past week.’

He leaned his face against yours,’ I’ve missed you too, you have no idea how much.’ He kissed your lips,’ I’ve been in love with you since I first kissed you, I never want to stop kissing you again.’

‘Is that what you want to do? Kiss me all night?’ you looked into his eyes and smiled when his lips traveled to your neck.

‘Amongst other things,’ he breathed against your skin.

‘What else?’

‘I want to drag you into the restrooms and fuck you senseless,’ he whispered into your ear, making you swallow hard.

‘Sebastian!’ you hit him on the chest playfully and pushed him back,‘ We have all the time in the world now, why don’t we start with a drink?’ 

He gave you a cheeky grin and nodded his head while he got up and made his way to the bar, returning after a while with drinks for you both.

You made it past two drinks, Seb had been kissing you almost non stop, making good on his word, from your lips to your neck and your shoulders. 

The things he whispered into your ear made you blush and heat was pooling between your legs. His mouth was ruining you and you never wanted him to stop.   His fingers kept playing with the hem of your dress under the table, teasing your legs apart, caressing your inner thighs slowly and once you were receptive enough he started rubbing your clit through your panties until they were soaked. 

‘Seb,’ you bit your lip,’ I can’t take much more of this.’

‘What’s the matter? You can’t wait any longer?’

‘You are a horrible tease,’ you bit his earlobe.

‘I learned from the best, doll,’ he pushed your panties aside and you gasped when his fingers made contact with your wet folds, he took his time to open you up to him before he slid one finger deep inside of you.

Your moans were blocked by the loud music and you hid your face against his shirt while he fingered you and shielded you from the crowd on the dance floor.

‘Don’t stop,’ you breathed,’ please don’t stop.’

‘Not here, doll,’ he pulled back his fingers, making you let out a frustrated cry.

You stood up and leaned down to whisper to him,’ You’d better follow me and finish what you started.’

You rushed towards the bathroom with Seb right on your heels.

As soon as you were inside you pulled him into one of the stalls and pushed him up against the wall.

He kissed your lips and cupped your face to make you look at him,’ Do you want me to take you home? You deserve something classier than a quick fuck in the filthy bathroom of a bar.’

You grinned at him,’ I do want you to take me home, but first I want you to fuck me in this filthy bathroom.’

You took his hand and led him between your legs, his fingers sank underneath your panties and right back to the warm wet spot they had been a few minutes earlier.  
‘Yes, right there,’ you moaned. 

This time he didn’t hold back, curling his fingers to hit your perfect spot while his thumb rubbed your clit. He had you coming apart within seconds and you clung to his back while your orgasm took over. 

He rubbed you down gently, letting you ride it out until you found your breath again.  
‘Was that what you needed?’ he smiled that cocky smile of his and you nodded your head in a grin.

‘That was part of it, yes,’ you opened his pants and let your hand slip inside, wrapping your fingers around his cock and stroking it a few times,’ I remember you saying something about fucking me senseless.’

He grabbed your wrists and pushed you up against the wall with a growl before he pulled your panties down. You stepped out of them and wrapped one leg around his waist, leaning your foot on the toilet seat. You both moaned when you felt him push his tip inside, followed by the rest of him. 

You smiled when he filled you up, feeling complete again with him inside you. You both stayed still, staring at each other while breathing heavily, taking in every detail of each other’s face, relishing in each other’s body, feeling every muscle and every curve.   
He leaned his forehead against yours, the way he was looking at you took your breath away and he slowly started moving his hips.

‘Seb,’ you moaned and you kissed his lips. 

He kissed you back with a feverish passion, letting his tongue dance with yours and biting your lower lip as he swallowed your moans.

‘Fuck,’ he breathed,’ oh god, I’ve missed this.’

He grabbed your waist and started thrusting faster, you knew he was losing control and you didn’t want him to hold back.

‘Fuck me,’ you whispered into his ear,’ hard.’

He held your leg up around his waist and did as you asked, his heavy moans filled the room while he was driving himself closer and closer to his release.  
You clung to his shoulders while your own orgasm built and kept building.

‘I’m not going to last,’ he whimpered.

‘Neither am I,’ you breathed and your climax hit you as you spoke the words, your walls clenching around him, making it impossible for him to hold back any longer when you screamed out his name.

‘Oh god…I’m so close…I’m coming…I’m…fuck,’ he bit your shoulder and came with a loud grunt.

‘I’m sorry,’ he muttered when you both found your voices again,’ that was way too quick, and I made a mess of you, I’m so sorry.’

‘We’re not back to this, are we? Apologizing for making me cum?’ you teased and he smiled and pulled up his pants.

‘I’ll make this up to you when we get home,’ he handed you your panties together with a sexy stare that made you melt.

‘I know you will.’

‘That was so not classy,’ he shook his head in an embarrassed smile while he helped you pull down your dress and opened the door to let you step out first.

‘Classy is overrated, that was perfect, in every way. And totally your fault, you know what happens when you turn me on like that.’

‘Oh, I do,’ he took you in his arms and smiled,’ This night is turning out so much better than I had anticipated.’ 

He kissed your lips, softly and slowly and you closed your eyes and let yourself get lost in the feel of him. His hands, his lips, his smell, you loved every single part of him and you couldn’t stop smiling.

You grabbed his shirt,’ Take me home, Sebastian.’

‘Yours or mine?’ he asked.

‘Yours,’ you smiled,’ I think it’s time I slept in your arms tonight, in your bed.’

He greeted you with a warm satisfied smile and put his arm around your shoulder.

‘I would really love that,’ he whispered.


End file.
